DP left me tonight.

[headisintheshed]

test.

So he wasn't the one who gave up his electrician's course, or wanted to give it up, to be a drummer?

Nope. He's not an electrician. He was a bailiff but hasn't been able to find work since apart from odd labouring jobs and jobs for neighbours and friends.

He lost his license a few years ago and has been eligible for it back for a while but no driving jobs will take him with a previous ban and we can't afford a car to get him back into the bailiff job. He's been down on himself but seemingly positive for a while always trying to do something like go round his friends for contacts etc but there's only odd jobs not permanent work.

Could depression lead to these kind of thoughts?

He has good exam results from both GCSE and A Level but never seemed to settle done. He flies from one career to the next. Ultimately he wants his own business but we have never had the start up money.

And to be honest if I did have the start up money I wouldn't give it to him the way he is as he's so flighty. Not in relationships though. He was a great partner until this last year. He was supportive, kind, hard working at whatever he chose to do, optimistic, trustworthy and then everything changed. Nothing significant like a death or moving in together and it seemed very gradual. I''ve offered help in the past but it wasn't until last night that he finally decided to take the help on offer out there.

We'll be leaving in an hour. The weather doesn't look great but at least it's dry. I've decided not to make a packed lunch and treat the girls to chips when we're out mainly because I can't be bothered faffing. It's taking everything in me to get clean, put make up on and find decent outfits. I guess if I'm going to be unhappy I should look good doing it. :(

So you haven't posted before about him throwing you down the stairs in front of your dc?

izzyin I thought the OP was the spendthrift electrician's partner too, sadly it seems there is more of them about.

I hope you have spoken to his parents to warn them OP and that you will be sure he has seen the GP. Maybe he is being genuine with what he's telling you or maybe it's a not so subtle message not to challenge him.

*izzyizin sorry!

I'd also caution you to be on your guard. It's not unheard of for violent people backed into a corner to suddenly pull out the mental health get out of jail free card. It is not your responsibility to get him help, it is 100% his. Glad you're keeping him well away from you and your children.

Also, a loving partner who is amazing isn't violent and moody and selfish sexually, so be careful of rewriting history to punish yourself further. Put your children and yourself first now.

I'm immensely relieved to know it wasn't just me that thought that this OP with same age & same sex dc, living in her dp's uncle's house, with his dm just around the corner, was the same as another OP who posted here about her trials and tribulations with a knob who wanted to become a drummer, threw her downstairs in front of her dd, wasted money they didn't have, etc.

Parallel lives in parallel universes? Maybe you and I should go for a run to clear our heads, bh

Curiouser and curiouser... as I recall, that other OP's dp had the same sexual dysfunction too.

I'm sad that there's more of us about to be honest but also glad that I'm not alone. DP has never thrown me down the stairsvand never done anything in front of my DD's. It's more just pushing me out of the way rather than directed hits although that doesn't excuse his behaviour one bit. He's never been a big spender as I control all of the money for bills etc. I'm sure he'd have no problem spending our little disposable income but he never takes our bill money etc and has everything he needs. We're not in a position of buying things we want and are selling things just to get by as it is.

I'm going to talk to his parents and my sister tonight. DP has gone to the emergency drop in at the doctor as he called me on a payphone near there and said he will get a letter if they don't give him anything as proof. I guess he really is trying but for how long? As someone with .MH issues I know how it can easily go on and off with moods.

Whether he's mentally ill or just an arsehole, put yourself and DC first. Talk to the police if necessary. Tell him he is not to come back to the house for the time being, that the relationship is over, contact WA for advice. Even if it's 'only' pushing and shoving, it;s unacceptable.

We are. My girls and my safety come first however much I love him.