Theoretically speaking . . .

[Tripped]

if I were to leave my DH of only three years, due to emotional and verbal abuse that is virtually impossible to prove, would I be able to go and live abroad with our son (17 months), or would I need his permission?

DH is sole financial provider, I am SAHM, but am very well qualified (Ph.D - very academic, not very practical).

I have been primary carer since DS's birth. Still breastfeeding. Would they give residency to DH and not me? If I got residency, would I be allowed to leave the country with DS?

Very unlikely he would get custody in those circumstances, If he has parental responsibility then you will need his permission or permission of the family court to move overseas

You need to talk to a solicitor really. When children are very small, it would be extremely unusual for them to stay with the father. Unless there are very good reasons not to, most co-parent any children after a split. I don't think leaving the country would be on the cards without both parents being in agreement.

You need to start recording him, OP. It will be so worthwhile in the long run.

Thanks for replies. Will come back tomorrow. Thank you

OK, well, I wouldn't want to take him abroad if DH really objected - I don't want to mess up their relationship with each other. It's just that I have an offer of a job abroad that would allow me to still spend most of my time with DS.

Since we've only been married such a short time, I'm not sure I'll be entitled to much, if any, money from DH.

I've thought of recording him, ImperialBlether - but how? What would I use?

As you have a child together, that puts a different slant on things than if you were just a young couple who had brought nothing to the marriage and had no significant assets. You are both financially responsible for your DS until he's old enough to be responsible for himself.

Tripped, you could buy something like this. You plug it in to charge it and to transfer the recording, but it doesn't have to be plugged in to record. It records over four hours.

He wouldn't guess it was a recorder, just think it's a memory stick, so you could have it on a desk or next to your bag etc.

Tripped, can you tell us what his behaviour is like? I completely understand your wanting to move abroad; in your position I'd want to, too.

Why do you think the abuse couldnt be proved?

As he has PR he could object to you going abroad, but if the abuse was on record it would really be up to the courts to decide what is in your sons best interests.

He will have to pay child support regardless of any decision made.

You do not have to stay with this man even if you cant go abroad. There is lots of help out there for single mums, and you wont be rich, but it could tide you over until you found a suitable job in the uk.