In tears!

[iowmum88]

I dnt know what to do anymore P banging and crashing around calling me a fuking cunt infront of ds1 and ds2 said he's leaving me.
I'm fed up of the arguments they are always about petty little things that I do when I let all the things he does that get on my nerves go over my head.
I'm on my own I dont tell people in RL about my problems I keep things to myself.
I know what your all going to say that he should leave but then I would be on my own totally.
I'm so alone and feel totally pathetic and lost and stupid.
I have know car so can't get out and take the kids anywhere until things cool down. A lot of issues are about money.
He keeps coming into the room and having a go even though he can see me crying.
He's leaving tomorrow anyway for work. I just don't know what to do.

You do know what to do.

He says he's leaving you? Great, hopefully the door will boot him up the arse on the way out.

If he doesn't go, he's away for work tomorrow and you can take steps.

If he threatens you or you feel threatened, call the police.

Well you can't go on like this can you? Your poor dd's too.

What do you think you can do? Is this your house? His? Joint?

I have threatened to call the police and he has stopped with the kicking things.
I know what I should do but DSs are nearly 3 and 9 weeks if he moves back to where he is from he will never see them.
We have recently moved back to where I'm from all my friends who said that's great haven't even bothered with me after saying they would come and see me, have tried on my part but difficult when not got car and small baby.
I just don't understand why he is doing this and what I have Done wrong

You've done nothing wrong

Has this behaviour just started, or is it 'normal' for him?

OP he's doing it because he's a bully. The next think he'll be kicking is you, mark my words.

How far do you live from your friends/family?

Have any of your friends met him yet? It could be that they have the measure of him already and you could be pleasantly surprised once he is gone, how much support they could be.

"DSs are nearly 3 and 9 weeks if he moves back to where he is from he will never see them."

I think your sons would thank you for that, personally. Who wants to grow up watching their lovely mum being bullied and abused by a violent man? Maybe being attacked themselves in due course?

I know that the idea of getting shot of him and living solo is daunting but I don't think you've got anything to lose or even much choice in the matter. Call your friends rather than waiting for them to call you. Talk to them even if you can't visit. And why not call Women's Aid 0808 2000 247 and talk to them about it? Good luck

He does it every now and again. We have split up before about 2 years ago for 6 months or so and the whole time he was begging me to try n sort it out he would use every opportunity he could to text me call me when he saw DS1 he would want me to stay.
Im just not strong enough anymore, I'm tired from the night feeds and a crazy toddler.
No my friends here haven't met him, I'm sure they will be there when I tell them.
I know what he's like though later he will either carry on or act as if nothing has happened and for the kids sake I go along with it then I just get sucked back in.
Hopefully when he goes tomorrow I might find the strength.

'for the kids sake'..... Your babies have no choice if you stay. They're saddled with him and they will grow up wary and frightened. If they smile at him it'll be because they hope he doesn't turn his anger on them. They'll lie awake nights listening to him crashing around downstairs, crying their eyes out, terrified.

He's attacking you now because he knows you can't fight back. He's playing the 'big man' shouting and swearing at you, because he's a coward. He acts like nothing happened because he doesn't think you have the guts to walk out. So if you're not feeling strong, call for help. Friends, family, Women's Aid, whoever you need. They'll want to get you out of this