Feeling rejected

[PennyBlossoms]

I initiated sex last night, it did not go well :(. I have noticed in recent months that DH does not like me to do this, if I try he will take hold of my hand and hold it on his chest.

Last night thing started well but he soon lost his erection. He then wouldn't touch me or speak to me, we spent the night with a gulf down the middle of the bed. I tried to give him a hug but was shrugged off, no kiss goodnight, no 'I love you'.

Our relationship has mostly been okay but I know he dislikes the weight I have gained since having the children. I also strongly suspect (but have no real proof) that he has cheated at least twice. The last time being 8 years ago though he has had a massive crush on someone since then which lasted for about 6 months. Each 'affair' was short lied and took place shortly after I gave birth.

I don't know what to do today. He'll attempt to brush things under the carpet and act like there are no problems. I want to go out for the day and leave him to it. We're supposed to be going away for a few days tomorrow and at the moment I'm tempted to let him go on his own with the DC.

I don't know what I want from this. I think I'm just venting but if he finds me so physically repulsive what is going to happen to us? Yes, I could lose the weight but can I then forget how hideous he found/finds me?

I have sympathy with him on the weight thing if I am honest. It happened to me (partner gaining weight) and it does change the attraction - its not what you initially fell for. However if you're making an effort to lose the weight then he should be supporting you in that. Baby weight also a bit different to just normal weight too which he should recognise.

The affairs are something else. You need to confront him and make him talk to you about everything. You also need to decide what you want in my opinion. In your position I would be aiming for all out in the open rather than sweeping under the carpet.

penny. You are me!!!! I know the old swipe hand onto chest move only too well.

My DH is also not a sex obsessed man - i thought all men would want sex 4 times a night. Even on the first night we had sex it was just once the entire weekend away - and I was a virgin before that so majorly hornyz!!! Even on our honeymoon we did it three times - with me initiating. I get angry typing this!!!!!!!

He actually is lazy in bed and needs to me initiate. But sometimes he is tired.....

He outright tells me to lose weight. In a motivating way though, we go to the gym together, he got me a trainer and cimpliments me. I still have 3 stone to lose because I resent him and 'punish' him by eating cake!

He never has touched my tummy. Or had his hands all over my body (I had a pretty kick ass bod before the baby!).

Constant rejection.

I can't relate to the cheating but the rejection - use it as motivation to lose weight. Nothing like thiking F You on the treadmill!!

Don't take it personally and lose the weight?

But what an arse.