So he's at his Ex's again - Need to vent

[chocolatecakeystuff]

I know i've got no right to be jealous/worried/upset - been together 9 months, but it's nearly 7pm his phone is off. Normally he collects DC's/she drops them off job done. He has been funny about telling me when he's seeing the DC's the past few weeks. He sprung on me about a month ago she'd asked to give it another go when we first got together. Makes me uneasy he's spending time round there, when he could have DC's at his.
She was his first/ only love and were together 18 years. Will never be able to compare to that.

Ok vented - done - dusted lol

sounds heavy, but you are correct theres so much history there. be prepared to say goodbye to this one. personally i couldnt handle that baggage, i would imagine it would end up grinding you down and that may whats happening to you

Personally I think it is still important for dc to spend time with parents both at the same time, separated or together. Maybe it's as innocent as that.

From what you have written, I too would be uneasy.

But only you know what he says about your future together, how he feels about you two as a couple, how he behaves around you.

If his behaviour is changing, you should be on guard.

From experience its bloody hard. My relationship with a man like that lasted 10 months. It was agony every single time he spoke to his ex, dropped child off etc. It was hard saying goodbye cause I really loved him & my family thought he was wonderful, but its the best thing ive ever done. Took months to get over & at times I do miss him but, if his relationship with his ex isn't purely parent only related, it's a no hope.

Oh gosh yes it's totally innocent. Sorry - i've probably just come across as a parranoid bunny boiler there! ooops I do totally agree i've got no problem with them "doing things" as a family - just when he's round her house makes mea bit unconfortable. It's a bit too complicated to put it all down here for fear of outting him lol.
It is alot of baggage, compared to most people i'm quite chilled out about it all. Especially as i'm not baggage free myself (have a very poorly DD) We keep our DC's out of our relationship (I have met them, and he my DD, but only in the context as passing friends). And for the most part it's not going to be one of those "going somewhere" relationships in a typical sense, which is what i want (again DD being my main focus i couldn't cope with someone else being too involved). Sometimes i'm not so sure about if it's what he wants even if he says it is. Bless him he had a bit of a rough ride when it ended & is very insecure as a result. Doesn't help that i'm quite a bit younger than him & he's convinced i'm going to leave for greener pasture (as the ex did), and can't comprehend that i find him attractive. (not to blow my own trumpet but i am a bit out of his leauge really) gosh that sounds awful, i don't mean to seem that way, but what i have in looks he has in personality & humor a million times over.

Oh and he has "man periods" so i call them, always has done ever since i've known him (even before we got together) I think - and this is just my opninion but when he finds something stressful, (like when his ex is being a pita) he receedes into him self to deal with it - then once he's feeling secure about the situation he'll talk it through with me. He was with some one briefly after he split up with Exp and they caused a big deal every time something happen with his ex - or he had one of his "man periods" he's still learning i'm not like that & will accept it calmly and support him. Not shout scream and have a tantrum (then go home and cry to myself pmsl)