Hi All. just posting as feeling desperate. Dh and i have been married 10 years but this last year things have been very rocky. problems really started after DD born (she is now 18 mths) and DS aged 7 reacted badly to her after the novelty had worn off. i have posted before about me and Dh clashing over ds's behaviour and dh working away and got some helpful comments and advice. Thing is, when i think about how I have been over last week, i have been vile, just horrible. i have called dh fucking useless, a waste of space, lazy etc. I was trying to talk to my mum on the phone yesterday and ensured kids were washed, fed, dressed etc before call. ds was watching telly and dh took dd out. he came back in 10 mins into call which made ds kick off as he was enjoying his space, there was dd screaming. Dh said she didn't want to be outside anymore, fair enough but it was the randomness of being in/out that frustrated me. He could have taken her to park?! he said he felt pushed out of his own home. My Mum says it is terrible how there is always rowing whenever we talk and feels like the family cannot do without me for the hour that we talk. We do talk in the evening too, but i am expecting too much for dh to entertain dd while I speak to my Mum (she lives 3 hours away). Today dh has taken kids out after i asked him too but clearly didn't want to and huffed and puffed. he is in scotland working from mon to thurs this week so i am trying to get some sanity time. Dh feels I need too much break!!! We do find juggling the needs of the kids stressful especially due to our living arrangements (we sleep in dining room). What with our debt problems (IVA due to end next year) and the stress of trying to get a bigger house it is all too much. I told dh I hated him this morning and would leave if it wasn't for kids. He glazes over most of what I say, rarely asks how I am or feel and treats me like a skivvy. I don't feel loved or appreciated at all and neither can he. My Mum is very concerned about us as a family and dh in particular. she finds his behaviour odd at times and I too question it as sometimes, he is just so unhelpful and obstructive. i was going to paint the kitchen while he was out but he went mad, saying I must smooth the walls down first and plaster and kind of bullied me out of it. The house needs some diy as we hope to sell it but he stops me doing anything but won't do anything himself (blames me and says I won't have kids on weekend-well if he has been away in week then no,I'm not keen!) its awful and I don't want the kids living with all this hostility.