Anyone ever been in love with someone they really, never ever could have?

[Tamz77]

Hello,

Was just thinking about posting this as a topic for discussion as it is now five and a half years since I fell in love with the best friend of the father of my child. Hurrah! Not.

I had been with ex for a couple of months before I met his BF who was closer to my age and whom I had much more in common with. We always spent a lot of time together as a threesome (not in that way...unfortunately), had some really good nights. I often caught BF looking at me funny - long, hard, plaintive gazes - and felt that the attraction was probably reciprocated in some way, though I'm not sure to what extent.

I literally fell for him the moment I saw him (in the middle of the night in an Asda car park, as it happened). Ex and I never worked out, we split up when I was pg, and are now nothing more than civilised friends/co-parents. However it makes me feel quite sad that nothing ever happened, or ever will, between me and BF. It is almost as though he is 'The One' and I can't have him, and that anything else I have is just messing around, filling time before I die a lonely old spinster.

Of course BF is a faithful BF and would never betray ex. Ex used to joke that there was an attraction between us. Well there was. He is gorgeous, everything I could ever wish for, we can talk for hours, even think the same thoughts. But it ain't never gonna happen.

Anyone had anything similar?

I have from a distance flirted with someone at work for about 7yrs now, I only ever see him occasionally when our paths cross at conferences and things, it was an instant attraction. But we did nothing fo a few years. We have went further in more recent years but it can never be any more. I love my husband and he has a serious relationship too. But it is like a fire buring inside me, it ties me in knots and when I get in control and decide thats it I am not going near him or going to do anything, then I see him and I melt. Its crazy I see him about 3 times a year, with no contact in between at all. Oh well it can never be and I don't want it too, but I wish it was different in some way, but I don't know what way.

I fell for my best friend a while ago. We had grown up together and when i seperated from DS1's dad we became even closer. He helped me through some really bad times and i was there for him when his dad died. After several months of flirting we kissed (several times )but neither would admit how we felt. We had plenty of opportunities and im sure we came close a few times but it never happened. I think we were afraid in case it wasnt mutual although everyone agreed it was obvious how we felt about each other (my mum was ready to buy her wedding outfit!). It was driving me mad being around him but not knowing for sure how he felt and i was too chicken to make the first move. I didnt want to ruin our friendship. In the end i decided to try to move on with my life and started going out without him. Eventually i met dh. I havent seen my friend for almost 5 years now and although i love dh i know i will never forget my friend and i will always love him. I often wonder how he is and if it would have worked out. I regret not saying anything at the time but it is too late now. I have made several mistakes in my life but that was one of my biggest.

yes, i love my best friend. even if something happened with me and dh i would never take things further with my best friend, as he is gay. but i lvoe him so much.

does that count?

Message withdrawn

Tam - i reckon you should admit how you feel. If you are both single and he feels the same way as you theres no real reason why you cant see each other. Your ex will just have to accept it.

Dont leave it or you will always regret not saying something or giving it a go. I know I do and it is a horrible thing to live with. I love dh but now and again i cant help but wonder what if and im sure it is mainly because i never had the courage to admit my feelings. If i had and it had all gone pear shaped at least i would have given it a go and chances are i would have been over it by now. If you dont say something you will regret it and you will always be left wondering what could have been. Give it a go and if he's not interested just move on, theres someone out there just as nice if not better!!

Not sure how i stumbled on this thread but I am with you ladies on this one. And it is so hard isn't it. I have the most wonderful friend who I am crazy about. I love my husband very much but part of me will always belong to my friend. We have an amazing bond that no-one can ever break but it hurts like mad that that is all it can ever be.

Tam you have the chance that some of us will never have and if it is your one chance of true happiness then I would grab it.

Best of luck

I often wonder though if these dream relationships seem so perfect because they aren't real. I have a feeling that in my case at least reality would have shoved it's dirty boots all over my fantasies and spoilt them... When I look at my DH and really think about him, he is pretty much the best person I could be with but after this length of time it isn't exactly romantic or passionate. Not sure any other relationship would have stood the test of time. But it gave me a huge buzz as well as a lot of angst and pain.

I think I have fallen in love with a guy I work with, we are both married, both have children, he has told me he may be falling in love with me, and in another life we would be together. He is planning more children with his wife, and it breaks my heart when I think of the day he will come in and tell me she is pregnant.

We get on really well and have agreed we will just be friends.

My marriage hasn't been great for the last couple of years, we are trying to work at it, I love my husband but not sure I am in love with him anymore.

I know I can't have the guy I work with, and to be honest I wouldn't want to upset his married life, and maybe because my marriage isn't brilliant I'm just kidding myself I'm falling in love when maybe I'm not, but I ache when I don't see him, and it hurts so much that I've cried after he's told me snippets about his home life.

yup my first love (who just happens to be coming over tonight) but we split 8 years ago and since he has made it clear only interested as a friend he lives 80 mile away so would never happen anyway. I won't ever love another man, have tried but no one compares.

Same as you Megandsoph, still in love with my 1st love, which hasn't been helped by him moving into the house 4 doors away from me last week. But know he also feels something for me still as we've been sending each other some very flirty texts!Trouble is I'm (unhappily) married, with 2 gorgeous children and he's single.We haven't really talked to each other about our feelings, were meant to meet up yesterday afternoon, but he had to work, so hoping to meet up with him in the next couple of days to find out if the flirting is just a bit of fun for him, or if it really means something like it does for me.It's driving me crazy at the moment.

Yes, It's been 4 years and I still thing about him every day. He was married and I was single bit there was enormous chemistry. Recently found out he had left his wife but got back with her after about 6 months or so. I don't know if there was another woman or not.
Can honestly say I have never felt a " connection" like this before.

Rainbow, this thread is 10 years old!

Zombie thread, I know but... I'd love to know if the OP tried it with the BF

Agree you should go for it, you're not breaking any laws, and if he does feel as strongly as you do, perhaps you can get together and not tell the ex at first.

groan, 10 years old....