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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

After 6 years ive just seen a different side, and i dontt like it....

19 replies

gemmalou123 · 03/08/2012 23:23

Been with dh 6 years. 1 dd, 2 mc. We were out on town tonight and someone set him off for one reason or another, and ive seen a completely new side to him. So so angry and like he just couldnt stop himself. I know it wasnt aimed at me, but its just made me think differently about him, seeing him in a way id never seen before. Dont know what to think or do, its like a switch has been flipped...

OP posts:

CogitoErgOlympics · 03/08/2012 23:25

Were you under threat? Was alcohol involved?

AlfalfaMum · 03/08/2012 23:25

Oh love :(
What happened, what did he do?

Original poster

gemmalou123 · 03/08/2012 23:42

I dont understand what started it, i think it was an offhand comment made by someone in the pub. I dont know how to discribe it, he just started shouting and threatening but it was like he just couldnt stop if that makes sense? Ended up with dh being punched in the face and dh retaliated by picking up other guy and throwing him (a little like the incedible hulk? Lol) no police have been or will be involved due to the pub being owned by the in-laws and the polotics of living in a small country town! My dh has always been the most loving and caring partner and dad. Didnt know he was capable of being like this...

OP posts:

LordOfThe5Rings · 04/08/2012 00:56

Do you know what the off hand comment was about?

Original poster

gemmalou123 · 04/08/2012 01:05

Not a clue, didnt hear what was said myself...

OP posts:

AlfalfaMum · 04/08/2012 01:10

It sounds like a scary incident, worrying but very out of character.. Can you talk to him about it tomorrow?

Mightbethehormones · 04/08/2012 02:49

Is he taking steroids?

Kallisti · 04/08/2012 04:24

Did you like it?

izzyizin · 04/08/2012 04:59

Did you hear what was said?

His reaction sounds OTT but it may be that the words hit a particularly sensitive spot and triggered a temporary meltdown.

That's not an excuse, btw, but it seems to me that in punching your dh on the nose, the other guy's got some explaining to do too.

needsomesunshine · 04/08/2012 06:48

The other guy made a comment & punched him? How would you have felt if your dh took that & said nothing?

squeakytoy · 04/08/2012 06:55

You dont know what was said, so it is very hard to judge really. He also didnt throw the first punch.

WaitingForMe · 04/08/2012 08:08

DH has always been able to walk away from a fight but if someone hit him I'd probably have more respect for him fighting back than just taking it to be honest. I'm not proud of holding that view.

Lizzabadger · 04/08/2012 08:12

Sounds very worrying. Can you talk to him about how completely unaccptable you found his behaviour? Would he attend anger management classes?

If he has it in him to behave like this then he will do it again.

So undignified, quite apart from everything else.

Yama · 04/08/2012 08:22

Needsomesunshine - my dh (in the past) has actually been hit and walked away. Totally unprovoked. He believes retaliation escalates situations like this.

Just added that in the interests of balance Gemmalou123. I would much rather my dh walk away.

AlfalfaMum · 04/08/2012 20:25

Kallisti, wtf? The op says very specifically in the the title of this thread that she doesn't like it

AlfalfaMum · 04/08/2012 20:28

Yama, I agree with you, I would have much more respect for my DH if he walked away. It shows more strength of character IMO, and I really hate violence.

izzyizin · 04/08/2012 20:30

Kallisti is a woman on a mission, Alfafa, who obviously stumbled onto this board when they rolled in from a well-oiled night out.

I think we can it that Mr K doesn't have much pulling staying power.

discrete · 04/08/2012 20:35

I think in the interests of fairness you really need to hear your dh's explanation of what set him off.

LisaD1 · 04/08/2012 20:37

I can imagine this is a huge shock but I do think you should speak to him tomorrow when beer is out of system and all is calm.

My DH is a very quiet placid man and I have never seen him raise a hand in anger but if someone were to punch him in the face I think he might fight back, you also at this stage have no idea what was said to him, not that a comment should result in violence but accompanied by a smack in the face could well have just been enough to make your DH see red.

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