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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Cutting off a friend

7 replies

Bedouingold · 03/08/2012 22:17

I have been friends with a girl for 8 years, we have been really good close friends for most of that time. When we met I had a low paid job and was struggling. I have studied for 5 years and have recently got a better job. When I got the job she suddenly became obsessed with getting a promotion at work and got this (great! but it's all she could talk about). My daughter is very bright and was reading at the age of 3, my friend never mentions my daughter's accomplishments but talks non stop about her child being unbelievably clever (great if he is...I don't know but it's like she has something to prove since she saw my daughter reading a poster on a day out). She invited me to a get together with friends of hers who I got on great with and spent all night steering the conversation to talking about the one subject they all have i common which I don't know much about...I think to deliberately exclude me. I feel like I can't mention my job without her trying to 'one-up' me with some anecdote about her job. I don't ever mention my child's achievements incase she thinks I want to be competitive (which I do not). If I talk about any relationship issues I have she talks about how great her relationship with her husband is. I can't be myself anymore and find myself not saying anything while she indirectly puts me down. I was asked for id in a shop (as I am no spring chicken I was chuffed by this) when I told her she said everyone gets id'd and she wasn't in denial about her age like me!wtf. Do you think I should end the friendship? I am unsure because we used to be such good friends.

OP posts:
Scarredbutnotbroken · 03/08/2012 22:19

Yes - she sounds like a knob.

dondon33 · 04/08/2012 06:26

I'd have done it already tbh.
Friends should be a pleasure to be around not torture which is what this childish, attention seeking, toxic idiot sounds like.
stop contact and when she asks why tell her you don't need friends that compete with you, that don't want to see you and yours do well and who exclude you.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow · 04/08/2012 07:37

i'd go for a softer approach than dondon33. I'd simply scale it down and see less and less of her until i simply wasn't seeing her anymore.

But I am a bit of a coward like that.

FastidiaBlueberry · 04/08/2012 07:44

God yes, dump her.

As Notsuch says, you don't have to do it dramatically, you can just scale things down gradually

bringbacksideburns · 04/08/2012 07:45

God yes. I wouldn't want to spend any time with someone like that.

headinhands · 04/08/2012 07:50

Scale it down softly. Gently does it. If she notices brush it off as just business. Being direct will make you feel like an utter shit no matter how toxic you are finding the friendship. Voice of experience here.

BBwolefs · 04/08/2012 07:51

Very odd behaviour, im probably guilty of similar myself during periods of depression, and have definitely had this from persons in the past. That said that isnt your issue either way, there is no justification if you are made to feel bad and you dont need to tolerate it.

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