Coming home late-selfish tosser v nagging kill joy

[thistooshallpasswontit]

My dh told me he was going for a quick drink tonight after work which btw is absolutely fine by me. At 11ish i realised his "quick" drink was obviously not that so sent him a text to check he was ok and ask when he'd be back. He's just replied saying he'll be a couple of hours. This is the 6th time he's done this in the last few weeks.
I've got no problem with him going out but Aibu to expect a courtesy text to let me a) know he's going out. (at least he bothered to do that this time) b) if he's going to be back late. I have told him I have no desire to be his keeper but I have made it clear I think it's rude and unfair not to tell me if he's going or staying out.
I fear I am turning into a nagging, kill joy, fish wife type person but I'm fucked off with this total disregard for me. It doesn't take much to text to say "having a few more so don't wait up" or something. Is he a Selfish tosser or am I a neurotic nag?

He's a selfish tosser.

Do you have kids?

Yes 2 dc.
Twat eh?

Yes indeed. I was going to say get yourself gone if no kids.

He's a selfish twat. It's NOTHING to ring or send a text. Bowing out of the bath and bedtime routine too.

Twat. My partner EVENTUALLY stopped doing this but it took 6 YEARS.

Do you want to wait 6 years to see if he stops doing this? Because looking back, I really wish I'd caught on a bit quicker and just gone out with someone who respected me.

And you think you might be a nag for requesting common courtesy?

I bet he'd phone his place of work or mate if he was going to be late to meet them but you, his wife, don't merit the same consideration?

I had one too, it never stopped just got worse till he was disappearing for days at a time. Not saying yours will be like that but I should never have even put up with it twice.

Thanks for confirming what I'd been thinking.
I'm going to talk to him tomorrow cos this just can not go on.
Very sadly I am starting to realise that if we didn't have the dc I would be gone!
When did I lose my self respect I wonder?

It's not self respect imo. It's having kids. You put up with all kinds of crap you never thought you would to keep things on an even keel for them. But sometimes the other person just takes too much and it becomes untenable.

do you think he is seeing someone else? or just out drinking? who does he go out with?

6th time in 2 weeks is once evry 2 days nearly...is that right? thats too often

He got home at 1ish. So much for his quick drink. He went straight to the spare room.
I don't know if he's seeing someone else. A year ago I would have been certain he wouldn't but I caught him using lots of dodgy webcam sites which completely threw me.. He really has no respect for me does he.
Sorry I've just realised I'm drip feeding!
I think last night may be final straw. I'm worried I'm making a selfish decision though. Staying together in this location is a good thing for our dc. I know it's not the right thing for me or him unless something huge changes. We need to talk!