Can someone advise me how to end an argument please?

[feesh]

I had a fight earlier with my Mum and it's ended with her storming into her room (I'm staying at her house) and shutting the door.

I want to go in there and end it, but I don't want to say 'sorry' and I don't want to use a 'you' statement as my counsellor a couple of years ago taught me that was a bad way to communicate. She gave me some good ways to communicate, but I can't remember any of them!

What's the best way to open the conversation? We're both crap at confrontation and we're both in the wrong (I know I've been hard to live with since I came to stay, but she also said some pretty nasty and irrelevant things to me before storming upstairs).

If I don't go in and say something, she will just stew in there all day before eventually coming down and pretending nothing's happened.

Please help me understand the best way to handle this as I know from lurking that there are some very sensible people on this board!

What about - I'm sad/upset/disappointed that we've had an argument, can we put it behind us and have a nice cup of tea/dinner/glass of wine and a chat.

It's a bit tricky without knowing what you've argued over, but my DH and I are using this in counselling at the moment. Hope it helps.

I think the best way to deal with sulky, door-slamming types is to leave them to it. Any further intervention only prolongues the problem. Wait until she comes back out, put the kettle on and then sit down together and see what occurs. 'Shall we have another go at being nice to each other?'.... might be a good opening gambit.

You could start it as you've said it "we're both crap at confrontatoin and we're both in the wrong".....?