Is DS trying to tell me he's gay? or just having a laugh?

[NikitasSidekick]

I have a 13 year old boy with a quirky sense of humour. He's a confident lad, likes being different, likes to stand out, never a masculine type, always more comfortable in a group of girls than a group of lads and his facebook page is always full of girls posting about how amazing he is, good listener, best friend etc.

Anyway he's the type of person that develops obsessions and his latest one is Robert Downy Jnr. He's always looking up pictures of him, goes on about how amazing he is and when I joked that I might have to marry him - he commented "hands off, he's mine girlfriend!" now I realise this was obviously a joke but he's said similar things a few times now and I noticed someone posted a picture of RDJ on his facebook page with a caption about him being "naked" under the ironman suit - DS 'liked' the picture so it sounds like it's a running 'joke' at school too.
He's now moving on to a singer from a band, again male and when someone commented that this singer was gay, DS commented "I know, shame" !!

Everytime he says something like this he makes out he's joking and I always laugh along too but I'm starting to wonder if he's actually trying to "come out"??

Or is he just so comfortable with himself that he feels he can joke around like this and isn't bothered what people think?

My ds came out at 14, although it wasnt a surprise for us. They can be very sure of who they are at a young age. Please dont dismiss him as being to young to know. I only ever once said to my son that saying hes gay now dosent mean he cant say otherwise later and left it at that. He is almost 16 now and very happy and confident. He is out at school and i am very very proud of him.

Yeah, sounds like he's gay to me.

As someone who has fairly recently come out to her parents, I imagine he is trying to tell you without actually having to say it. But probably subconsciously to a large extent.

If I were you I'd be looking for an opportunity, when the two of you are alone, to tell him something along the lines of loving him no matter what his sexuality turns out to be. In a better-worded way than that though! I wouldn't ask him outright in case he sin't sure or doesn't want to say.

Your son is gay and has excellent taste (RDJ - he'll have to fight me for him)!

How patronising to say 13's too young to label/know!

I knew exactly how I felt about John Taylor when I was 13 and there was nothing innocent about it I can tell you!!

Your son is deffo gay I'd say. He also sounds very confident, funny and has loads of friends so you are doing something right.

I personally would ask him out straight (no pun intended) just because you want him to know he can talk to you about boys or any normal teenage issues. And maybe he would just want it acknowledged that you know, you're perfectly fine and comfortable with it.

Oh yes totally agree with the RDJ thing

Your DS sounds lovely, gay or straight how wonderful that he is so comfortable with himself that he comes out with all this. As long as he knows you are proud of him, I do not think you have to have a 'coming out' conversation, it sounds a bit redundant as I suspect he will be open and proud about whatever he does and whomever he loves. Bless!