Rape

[angeld40]

Hi,
Came home from work today to find out that the complaint I made against the police for letting the guy who raped me go free was not upheld. I am so upset, and just feeling so many emotions right now. How can the police let a man go free who can do this? Why did they take his word against mine? I'm struggling to understand the law in this country? Feel totally and utterly gutted :(

Did you complain to the police shortly after you were raped? Did you give a statement? As far as you know, was he arrested by the police?

I apologise for asking these questions but without more information it's not possible to ascertain why it may be that a rapist was not charged with the offence he committed against you.

Sorry you are going through this but the main thing is that you had the courage to report it. I was raped last week and I'm not as brave as you as unfortunately I know a bit about the legal system and was not prepared to do it.

I'm a great believer in karma. You will be ok.

I am so sorry to hear about what you have gone through, angel.

I don't know why the system lets these scums go free. I guess it's one persons word against anothers. If there is no physical proof, then they see it as he said, she said. I know it's wrong, but sometimes woman have made these things up and that messes it up for those who have actually been victim of rape.

I made a complaint about my ex going out and having sex with a 15 year old when he was 22 as I felt it highly inappropriate and he was trying it on with her 13 year old friend. Plus I'd seen the CP on his computer [sick]. He had also held me down whilst we were in a relationship and although he wasn't violent to me physically - he was verbally and he did hold me down. I told the police this and even had a 2 hour video interview. They did eff all and it traumatised me so much.

I hope you have people around you who are supporting you and helping you through this. I hope this scum doesn't think he can get away with it again. I wish I could do something about these disgusting men, but alas I am one person.

The law needs to change some of it's viewpoints and the way they approach such things. Some woman lie but most don't. Even if they were to prosecute someone who didn't do it I as a a member of society would rather they took what I said seriously and tried to build a case up around it. Perhaps ask those around them, see if similar things have happened to others in that area etc.

If you ever need to talk feel free to PM me.

izzyizin yes I did make a statement and when police let him go I complained. He was arrested, but they say lack of evidence and is word against mine......
YesANameChane I'm so very sorry, and yes I'm a great believer in karma too. Hope you are ok too. Feel free to private message me x

Thanks angel, yes I'm ok thanks. My situ would have been similar to yours - his word against mine. I let it go so far iyswim but ultimately told him NO. I'm not blaming myself just trying to forget it.

Even though the scum bag has walked free, just remember that as you have reported the incident he would be unlikely to get away with it again so all is not lost.

I am so sorry to hear what you went through too, yes. Like the OP has said, feel free to PM me too.

some men make you want to hate the whole male population I have a great DP who is great to me. I am so glad you can move on from this. Not forget, but move on.

If he was arrested it's unlikely that the police let him go free and it's probable that the CPS decided that there was insufficient evidence to proceed with a case against him.

Unfortunately, you're left to pick up the pieces both from the offence that was perpetrated against you and from what would seem to be an unfair decision to allow him to escape justice.

It occurs to me that you may be eligible for Criminal Injuries Compensation which is not dependant on an offender having been convicted, or charged, with the crime.

Have you been in contact with Victim Support? See their website here: www.victimsupport.org.uk and give them a call with a view to pursuing a claim.

Your experience is not unusual Lord and you've highlighted an issue that has long been of concern to me, namely adult males having underage sex with young girls which, although reported to the police, rarely appears to result in justice being seen to be done.

It has been my experience that the police are reluctant to act unless victims are willing to co-operate and/or corroborate but, in my view, these men are committing statutory rape and should be charged accordingly.

While I am not in favour of Americanising UK law, I make an exception for any alteration to the statute book that will enable these lowlife men to be brought to justice.

Thanks izzyizin today at work has been horrible. I was on the verge of tears all day and held it in, thank goodness. So glad to be home and sitting with a glass of wine and cuddled up with my cat :-)

izzy I am completely with you on that one. It infuriated me because as she wasn't willing to go against him, due to him 'grooming' her, then nothing happened. It doesn't make it any less illegal, immoral and wrong just because she doesn't hate him for it. She does now though and realises what he has done now she's an 18 year old who has suffered a lot from the hands of him. We both came together since he had hurt both of us and are now really good friends, which means at least we got something out of it. It doesn't stop him trying with others though. It's ridiculous because all his msn and facebook friends except a few school friends are 13, 14 and 15 year old girls, with the odd 16 or 17 year old to make it a little less shocking.

I hope you are doing okay now angel. Hope you feel safe and comfortable at home and have some supportive people around you, if you have spoken to them about this.

I'm sorry for what you have been through but it won't be the Police that let him go free - it will be a decision by CPS.

angeld40 I'm so sorry. however you did the right thing in making the complaint even if the police couldn't take it any further. They would have taken your complaint very seriously and questioned the guy and that would have rattled him, plus if he does it again and there's another complaint, the police will be very interested in him, to put it mildly.

Thank you everyone. I'm just numb at the moment, and just glad when work is over and I can come home. Really looking forward to the weekend when I can just kick back and relax. Have spoken to a few friends, but don't like to burden them too much. Specialist counselling takes months due to a shortage which sucks. Really hate the laws in this country sometimes. The guy knows when he did and that he got away with it, and he's probably done it before and will definitely do it again which sickens me. More so as another woman will be traumatised and maybe the police won't have enough evidence, and CPS won't take the case.

Do you live in London? I'm sure there are at least 2 voluntary agencies that have a phone line and will give you advice about counselling. There's also Victim Support that I would think could help you although maybe not specialist counselling.
Have you spoken to your GP? Just make sure you treat yourself well and take up any counselling offered if that's what you want, even if it takes a few months before you get your appointment.

Thanks mirry2. There are voluntary agencies, that have a phone line and give advice about counselling. I've been to see a specialist charity and have to wait several months until a counsellor has space. As for treating myself well, I'm trying my best. Its easier said than done though, and I feel like I'm living the life of an actress when I'm out and about and heave a huge sigh of relief when I get home....