advice on brothers likely divorce

[Dionysia]

Brother has just been left by wife of five years...no children involved.

She has an income (40k per year)
he has been doing odd jobs for this time

she may have debts he doesn't know about
they have a joint debt for tax credit overpayments which he has been paying off slowly.

DM is worrying herself silly about this as Dbro is very down, but I can't help but think he is going to much better off without her in the long run.

he has his own bank account separate from hers.

is there anything he should do to limit damages? he doesn't want anything from her, just not to get saddled with more debt.

Hello Dionysia

I'm trying to work out how a childless couple with one partner earning £40k+ was able to get Tax Credits.

Frankly, I think your brother needs financial advice from a debt counsellor - the CAB should be able to help.

It also sounds like your brother may be depressed - a visit to his GP may be in order.

A childless couple on 40 k wouldn't get tax credits....hence probably why they are paying them back.

It would be prudent to check he's not part of any fraudulent benefits claims. Considering the op.

i thought it might have been fraud - she wasn't on that much at the time, but they'd have had to be earning under 16k...

judgey face<

is there a way pf checking he isn't on any of her credit cards?

He needs to do a credit check with Equifax, Experian and noddle.

The former two, he'd be better of subbing for free for 30 days, to dispute anything, then cancelling before he is billed.

another question: any benefit in an annullment instead of divorce? marriage not consummated.

So you can get tax credits without having kids? I didn't know that. I am being genuine, not sarcastic.

These 'odd jobs' has he declared he was working?

Yes but you've got to be a certain age, earning really to low to live at all, etc, etc. Disabilities, etc, etc.

Certainly not on 40k

guide to annulment
I found this. It says you can get an annulment for these but also the length of time that the couple have been married and aware of any issues that would qualify for annulment will be taken into consideration. I assume he is aware he has never had sex with her.
Tbh, this sounds very strange. No kids, claims tax credits, he doesn't have a job and does 'odd jobs' and never had sex?

it is very strange. i don't know why they got married - i think it was to do with her family (big ishoos) ..he hasn't talked much about it. he is very hurt now though - i always thought he'd married someone who was really a best friend rather than a wife.

he has done bits of bar work (not back of pocket) and that kind of thing. he didn't get a job after university and has drifted since...to begin with she said she was happy with him not working, but i think that changed, hence her leaving... he was perpetually broke though, they didn't share financially.

i think he has come clean to tax credits - she wouldn't deal with it and hoped it would go away - they have moved around quite alot and i think this is a debt avoidance tactic.

which is why he got saddled with paying it off!

so probably after five years (thinks...was it that long? ...3 years at least...)

Tbh I can see why they didn't share. I can't say I would be happy financially carrying dh, so he could sit around.
I wouldn't mind if he had just left uni and/or looking for work or if he was a sahd or of he worked but didn't earn much. But under the circumstances I would consider leaving as well. I can also see why finances have been separate.

Or he put the claim in, so he is the one paying it off?
Tbh you sound quite negative towards her. Your dbro doesn't sound innocent in any of this.

don't know about who did what...

I am pretty negative towards her, had he been a woman in that position i'd have thought it was economic abuse (to keep him skint, move to places where he found it hard to get work etc etc..) though I do think DBro could have tried harder with those jobs he did get. on the other hand all is fair in love and war, but that doesn't make it nice. others in my family liked her well enough...

she was texting him about returning to 'dating'

having read the bumf about annullment, it looks like divorce would be more straightforwards, given the length of the marriage, and the fact it would be quite spiteful (and embarrassing) to go through the process.

It's not financial abuse really. He wasn't trapped at home with no qualifications, no where to go, or a sahd. As financial abuse is usually played out. He's got qualifications, no kids, no ties really. He chose to "drift".

He's never had a proper job. Which fwiw, would have pissed me off too. If my dh bummed after leaving uni and continued to not contribute.

The tax credits thing, he would of had to sign the application as well. I think you are getting half the story here tbh.

well, i wouldn't marry someone who i didn't see eye to eye with financially, but i would always share...which is part of my bemusement at this. there is more to it of course, but then..there always is.

nevertheless that one debt dbro is paying off, and she isn't, 2k isn't that much in the scheme of things (i do know people saddled with 15k or more from their OHs running up credit cards in both names), and I will definitely advise him to check his record for all debts at all addresses - getting a CCJ for some oversight would be one thing stopping him from going forwards.

thank you for your responses.

But that is you. HE also married someone who doesn't see things financially the way he does.