CSA messed up claim, made in march and only assessed with one child on it although we have two. So I have phoned regularly since then to try to get it sorted out and looooong stupid story about the crapness of CSA later it is now with someone who can sort it out, I think... However it is now over £1000 in arrears.
They spoke to XP today. His perspective is the arrears are the CSA's fault because they haven't assessed him even though the assessment is straightforward and should be £56 per week. He has now agreed to set up a direct debit but it will not start until 1st sept.
I talked with him and csa and said they would want to take a large amount over the £56 to get rid of the arrears but I would be happy, in view of the fact he is paying for his wedding in oct and his alcoholism, to take a nominal amount in arrears until his wedding and then it could be upped again after providing he made a card payment to try and reduce the arrears and so we would actually get something to start reducing my overdraft :(
CSA team phone back. Apparently he is meant to get paid on last day of the month (today) and so wants dd to come out 1st sept, all fine if a bit of a pain, she asked if he could make a card payment for August and he says although he is meant to have been paid (large national company) today it has not come into his bank account and so he will phone back in a couple of days but he will only be able to pay at the most £20...
Now, I think I've been pretty accommodating and considerate. He has paid in total for two children about £500 in 7 years, I have never been that concerned about it as I think it is more important to get him to see the children and although it is quite irritating that he lies to get out of contributing anything and is happy for this burden to fall entirely on my poor tolerant husband (which I feel awful about) I have only gone through csa because now I am paying uni fees we have been really struggling for money and gave him a whole year to set up a dd so we could deal directly for significantly less than the minimum csa payment which he never did. We have now had to involve CSA. I just feel like I am and always have gone out of my way to try and be considerate to his circumstances, I have explained our circs and why things have changed and now I'm feeling like that offer of up to £20 for the month of August is a great big slap in the face... :(