DH wanting to go out for the evening with another woman.

[Herandhim]

I really can't decide if I am being ridiculously and needlessly insecure, or if this is not right, so hoping MN can help. DH and I have been married 10 years, mostly happy, both trust each other, although we have had a bit of a rough patch recently due to a couple of issues that we are working through.

He recently said he wanted to go to an event, that didn't really interest me. I said I would go along to keep him company, but made it clear I wasn't really bothered. Another family member, on my side, so related to him by marriage heard us discussing it and said she would go instead. I said I was happy to go along, as it would be a night out. Her reply to that was "You just want to come as you don't want me going out with him on my own" Without thinking it through I said to her that no, I wasn't that comfortable with it, and I was happy to go anyway.

So my question is, would most people be happy with their DP's going out with an attractive single female without them? Am I being silly, and should I just go along with it? I am sure this would not normally bother me, but something about it just feels wrong. I don't know if it is our other recent disagreements colouring my thinking.

And I say trust your gut.

Something about this made you feel uneasy. If you're not normally paranoid or controlling about your husband's movements, trust that reaction.

What this woman said is extremely odd.

If you trust your husband not to respond if she makes a pass at him, then fine. If on the other hand you are a bit more realistic about how intoxicating that might be for him when your marriage is going through a bad patch, then I'd go instead of her and talk afterwards about the troubles you are going through and how you will both put up boundaries if someone tries to exploit those troubles.

I don't like her reply tbh.

I wouldn't be happy about this woman in particular. You say she's a relative by marriage, so everyone shouting "She's a relative!" is barking up the wrong tree.

What she says is very suspicious, "You just want to come as you don't want me going out with him on my own" - I think that's aggressive and implies that she doesn't want you there and that you are stopping him having fun.

What other problems have there been, OP?

I'd not be happy based purely on what she said.

I wouldn't be happy based on what she said either. I think you should trust your own instincts - just because it's a family member doesn't make her any less likely to go after your DH (if that is indeed what she's up to). I would make an effort to get interested in what interests him and go.

Her comment to you was very confrontational IMO ... So yanbu . Does your dh want to go out alone with her ?

Well m/f going out not a problem.

The relative is a red herring. She isn't his relative.

If she spoke to me like that in front of everyone. Then you are definitely, definitely NBU. She was confrontational and bang out of order, why? No I wouldn't be happy with my dh socialising with someone who was so fucking rude to me tbh.

I wouldn't mind in the slightest him going out with another woman. I go out with my best male friend all the time and DP doesn't mind.
I don't like her response though, rude and weirdly judgemental of your relationship. That would make me raise my eyebrows and say sarcastically "Well, I am of course TERRIFIED that he won't be able to resist your peerless beauty and jump your bones in the car."

Think
Ow prob is aware of OP. protectiveness