Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Trouble with the in-laws

14 replies

PooPooPiDo · 31/07/2012 12:40

My sister is finally happy! More than I've ever known her to be. Since meeting this this guy over 8 years ago, she's calmed down on her crazy nitelife, married, had children, done a degree and lives in a beautiful rural town in England. All very nice. Problem is, she can't stand her in-laws and wants nothing to do with them.
I live 3 hours away, and as her only present family as parents aren't around now, I can't really support her apart from through counselling on the phone. I have said she's needs to button up and just accept them for the sake of keeping the family together. She fears her husband would prefer to hang out with them, in which case, it would bring out a side in him that she utterly abhors- chavness! My word not hers. They are middle-class but with a desire for all things pop culture in the lowest possible taste (according to her). At the heart of this tastelessness is a lack of interest in simple things, like nature, going for longs walks and not watching TV. She has once or twice had a pop at me for being 'pop' culture and falling for gimmicky things. But Ive just told her to 'pop off!' as we both trained in art and design and I don't feel I need to justify my taste. Yes there is an issue of taste, but she argues it's more about them being unable to see life beyond i-pads and TV.
The latest problem is that her sis-in-law is arranging the birthday bash for said partner (my sister's partner) as a way of inviting all the family and old friends pre my sister. Another contention, since sister and partner does not have any contact with his old friends
What would you suggest she do?

OP posts:
catus · 31/07/2012 12:42

Nothing, if their only crime is to be tasteless.
That's all, really.

CailinDana · 31/07/2012 12:45

I suggest your sister takes her head out of her arse. Things might start to look a bit brighter then.

Sarcalogos · 31/07/2012 12:45

Get a grip?

Be less of a snob?

Chill out a bit?

^all of the above.

CogitoErgOlympics · 31/07/2012 12:50

'Snob' was the word I was looking for as well. Tell her to grow up.

RabidAnchovy · 31/07/2012 13:04

Your sister sounds terrible

CogitoErgOlympics · 31/07/2012 13:05

"fears her husband would prefer to hang out with them,"

And would anyone blame him? I think my serious answer is to tell Hyacinth that only fool would try to come between a man and his family and only a bigger fool would let her.....

HecateHarshPants · 31/07/2012 13:06

I would advise her to grow up, tbh.

scentednappyhag · 31/07/2012 13:09

...
Oh.

elizaregina · 31/07/2012 14:46

gosh i wish that would be the only prob i had with my in laws if they were nice people, who cares....she needs to read about in laws on here who are truely horrid and nasty and then get some perspective.

DuelingFanjo · 31/07/2012 14:49

his siter wants to throw a party with all his old friends, wow! What a cow she must be!
Your sister needs to get a grip, unless there's something you're not telling us.

NarkedRaspberry · 31/07/2012 14:54

Really?

noelstudios · 31/07/2012 14:57

God, and I thought I was U for being (secretly) annoyed that my MIL wants to buy all my twins shoes....

And, whenever she knits them things she always uses really nice but fucking awkward buttons that take ages to do up....

noelstudios · 31/07/2012 15:04

Sounds like the SiL is worried that she's cutting him off from all his old mates and family.

Does she not realise that they might be post-high-brow and she is so nouvelle-high-brow that she just hasn't realised how on the money their taste actually is? And that she is, in reality, the unreconstructed 'chav' amongst them?

PooPooPiDo · 31/07/2012 15:20

An unreconstructed 'chav' Ha ha! Touche! 'noeistudios'.

Yes thanks to all of your comments. The message is loud and clear. And you know,, I'm really pleased with outcome, because it means that actually, what she is dealing with isn't as desperate as I thought. I guess being her sister, I was worried. If she can chill out, their life will be so much happier.
I'm just wondering wether I should let her read the thread...I'll see.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page