I think a colleague hits his wife. What can I do?

[50ShadesOfGreggs]

The colleague in question is in his 60's; we work for the same company but we don't work together as such.

He apparently told someone, who told me that on occasion he has hit his wife when she wouldn't do what he wanted.

I have never met his wife, nor am I ever likely to.

My problem is that if it is true then I cannot just stand by and let it happen. On the other hand I do not know for sure that it IS true, as it is just hear-say at the moment.

Is there anything I can do?

Nope, there's not a thing you can do unless you can get hold of some dv/Women's Aid literature and post it anonymously to his dw.

On someone else's say so you can't and indeed shouldn't do anything. No know nothing. You've seen nothing. You've heard nothing valid. Keep out.

You are probably right. It is very frustrating though because I can't bear the thought of it being true and not being able to help her.

You could tell him that people are saying that he hits his wife and see how he reacts.

I get the feeling you don't like the silence / turn a blind eye scenario so good for you

Could you call Women's Aid for advice? Or the local police DV unit? Or even SS? These are agencies which are there to deal with DA, they will investigate. You can probably report anonymously so it'll not come back to you. The wife, however, is very likely to deny it.

Theres really nothing you can do, if they do get the dv unit contacting them she might get hit again.

I'd imagine she is scared to leave the marriage. Horrid situation for her if it's true.

I don't think there's anything you can do. you don't know her. You don't know if its true, even.

I would be tempted to make my feelings on wife beaters very plain at every opportunity, with plenty steely hairy eyeballs at him.
maybe a bit of stigmatising and shaming would make him reconsider his actions - probably not.

My fucking god I can't believe people here saying leave well alone. They have clearly never been victims of DV.
You can do something. You can talk to him. Whether this is directly about your fears or whether you shroud it in an office fundraising for a local women's shelter, thereby bringing the subject into the open, is up to you.

But please don't do nothing.
Our postman saw my XP hitting me once. I was trapped there with a baby and desperate to escape. He just turned a blind eye and got back in his van.
I would have given anything to be helped at that point.

Please don't do nothing.

Do you know his address and home number? Give them to the police and tell them he's even heard at work boasting about it.

I'm with cutteduppear in that I don't think there's nothing you can do, far from it. Phone the people I mentioned in my earlier post and follow their advice. Dob him in it with the police dv unit and social services. I do think she's likely to deny it, but she could just as easily have called the police many times, or the neighbours have, and his talking about it at work could be the thing that tips the scales and saves the poor woman.

cuttedup and jubi thanks for the advice. I will call woman's aid tomorrow and see what they suggest.

I couldn't live with myself if it turned out to be true and I had done nothing.

Thanks!

cutteduppear sorry you experienced DV

Thanks again for advice

Oh dinnae fash I'm fine now - twas years ago and I've learned from the experience. Learned to only have close relationships with people who aren't fucked up.
And learned not to judge people who can't leave DV relationships.
But thanks. And good luck.