We have these friends who were/are very good friends of ours. We used to be neighbours until about a year ago when they moved (up the road) and then we moved (across town). When they were our neighbours they used to pop round for a cuppa tea every week and every so often for dinner. We had one then 2 children so usually it was them coming over to ours (which is not a problem, we were happy feeding another 2 mouths). I'd say that in the 7 years we'd been neighbours we've probably been to their house for dinner the grand total of one/two times. A couple of times for a beverage, but usually 90% of the time they were at ours.
Then when they moved up the road, they still popped in and kept in touch because they still had to walk past our house to the bus stop/shops etc so we'd still see them. They also got pregnant (all planned etc).
We then moved across town. And because they don't drive, we don't see them anymore (because it would take 2 busses to get to ours). When she was in labour, they rang my DH and he then drove over to theirs, picked them up, brought them to the hospital (30 min away). Drove back. And then drove back again (same night) to pick the husband up as she'd already given birth and he was kicked out. Next day, drove back to drop the husband off.
We popped round to see them when they were ready (1-2 weeks post birth) and cooed over baby etc. All fine. We've since seen them once - in 7 months.
We are really busy with 2 kids (of whom the older one who's 4 recently had a bout of bad health - ending up with a 2 week stay in hospital, now on steriods so reduced immunity etc), and full time work for both of us. On the weekends, we have children's classes (swim, music etc) and then food shopping (although we do quite abit of online shopping too). We don't have family nearby either so the kids are with us all the time. We do make an effort to meet up with other friends who have children the children's age (and to be fair, these tend to be nursery friends of my children's) but life gets so hectic that we've just been swept away really.
DH and I did talk about this and DH said 'oh, we can have them round for dinner/lunch'. And I was agreeable to it, until DH said 'oh, I'll go pick them up'. I think that's incredibly generous of my DH but I think it's a bit mad - to cook a meal, pick them up, send them home....?! or am I being abit tight?
when we met the last time, it was lunch in town. fine for an hour. and because they hardly eat out I felt guilty about getting them out.
I'm just wondering whether as a result of them not driving, that this is the end of the friendship then? I think it's a ridiculous reason for a friendship to die, but on the other hand, I don't want to have to ferry them around (that'll mean having to have 2 cars!) or have to ferry them to my house so that we can have a chat and some food (because they don't seem to have any toys out - their child is much younger so the types of toys would also be much younger/limited). I could suggest popping up and bring my own food and toys (for my kids)??
I have to add that I have friends who don't drive or who live further afield. But we all seem to have the same sort of thinking - like those who don't drive tend to invite us round to theirs and we have a playdate (say 10-12, or 3pm onwards) and there's usually food (spag bol, sandwiches, fish fingers etc). Same for those who live further. Same for when I have the kids over at our house. I tend to prepare food at least snacky stuff if not lunch/dinner type things. Even if there's no food involved there tends to be a cuppa tea on offer. could it be that this is a young baby family thing - where they only have a 7 month old who basically doesn't do much. and say if we were to revisit this situation a year from now, their living room will be strewn with toys and they'll be used to the 'playdate' concept and offer food/toys as we do?
Sorry this is such an epic post. thanks for reading thus far.