Separation Options

[MandyM00]

Am friends with a couple currently separating (all very amicably, no-one else involved). They aren't married, have two children (one school age, one toddler). Both bought family home ten years ago, both on deeds, both work equally to pay mortgage/bills.

Both realise relationship is over and tha someone must go but who? He has agreed she can go and take the kids (but where? no room with family and wouldn't be able to afford rent and manage childcare/work), says he won't go leaving her and kids in family home.

Does family home have to be sold then proceeds divided or is there someway one parent can claim more rights over living in the home with the children?

Any advice would be appricated. TIA

It depends on the circumstances and I would strongly suggest that the couple talks to a solicitor about it. There are some precedents that if there are children and a shared family home, the NRP pays towards maintaining the mortgage so that they are not disrupted by moving house. But if the NRP can't afford to contribute to that level and have enough to live reasonably themselves, then selling the property and splitting the proceeds is a good option.

thanks for the info. don't know the full details but think if he moved in with family would be able to afford contibutions but not if wanted to buy/rent himself. seems sad that selling family home will probably be only option which means further disruption for the children and in the current market who knows how long houses stay on the market for...

Sort it the way they did in 80's sitcoms.

Draw a chalk line down the middle of the house, giving the H the back door and the W the front door, kids can cross the border but neither partner can.

Create a set of hilarious forfeits should they accidentally teeter over either side, such as "H must wear my wedding dress and mow the front lawn".

Alternatively, be sensible about it. W + C's have more of a need for family home, stability and normality etc; so she should kick him in the nuts and tell him he can find his own place.

It's not a fair outcome if one partner ends up no change and the other is effectively homeless and cashless. It might take a few months to sell the property but, if they are in a good location, there's still a brisk trade. Moving house is only disruption for children if it's badly handled.

why wont he go leaving her and the kids in the family home? I dont understand that statement.

What is his reason for not moving out? He's basically agreeing that their mum has custody (or at least main residency) so it would seem most practical that in the short term at least he moves out (stays with family, friends etc). Longer term they will need to agree on whether it is financially viable option to keep the home or whether it will need to be sold and she finds a cheaper option for herself and the kids.

Ultimately he will need to be able to afford to rent/buy a place for himself which can accomodate overnight stays for his children.

They both need to seek legal advice

If it's all amicable, rather than two people hating each other's guts, it comes down to practicalities like money and accommodation and they might as well sort those out before anyone moves anywhere.

If he is 'amicable' when why the hell won't he leave her in the house with the children. Sounds like a selfish twat wanting her to move out with the children.