Apparently dd is clingy and whiney because I breast fed her on demand and picked her up too much when she was a baby. I always picked her up as soon as she cried, I thought this was the right thing to do. Apparently all his friends and families kids are much better behaved than ours because they were bottle fed and not picked up the second they cried. He says that I have made them spoilt, whiny and clingy because I did this and he says it every time they have a tantrum or behave badly. Dd wouldnt eat her breakfast this morning and it all got rather fraught. His words were "well its your fault she is like this, because of your breastfeeding and picking her up whenever she cried, you made her like this". This is what his parents used to say when they were babies and now he is saying it.
Its not just this its loads of stuff. A friend of mine got engaged this morning and I saw her beautiful ring on FB and just cried and cried. I don't have mine any more, he sold it because times were tough and we needed the money, no we didn't he took the money to go out with.
He was unfaithful to me but says it was my fault because we weren't sleeping in the same bed, this was because he was working nights and then would drink when he came home and I didn't want him in the room with my new born dd while he was drunk. When I say drink I mean 6 or 7 pints but apparently THAT was my fault too because I made him so miserable and nagged him so much he HAD to drink.
I don't even want to say anything else that has gone on. I am fine when he is not here but as soon as he comes here I am on edge and go off like a firework over the smallest thing.
We are separated already but were talking about trying again. Every time I get my head straight he says this kind of stuff. I was so sure that the way I had done things with the dc was good and he has even pissed on that. He will say these things as a statement of fact and then refuse to discuss it any further so I am left with these things whirring round in my head and no way to talk about it. You can't reason with him. To him these things are fact. If I get upset it is because I am ; having "mood swings" "is it that time of month?" "mad" etc.
He says he is different now but I won't give it a proper chance because of everything he did in the past and all the stuff he did in the past was all my fault anyway. I don't know anything anymore.