Who or what you love more?

[JazleEd]

Is there anything you or your partner love more than your partner? For example you love your children more than your partner.

That sounds a bit rubbish Jazled :( Do you want to talk about it?

Like i said in the question, loving children over partner is an example. It could of been anything, like my mums friend husband loves scouts than his wife and son.

More than his wife and son *

Yeah I could actually thankyou, inbox me?

Thing is, you have a genetic link to your children but you don't to your DH/P. Which is why the majority would save their children first in a fire etc.
It's all biological

I thought I loved my DH as much as it was possible to love somebody. Then my DD was born and I woke up. My heart would literally break for her.

It does make me a bit sad sometimes though. I miss the old DH & me.

the kids

myself

then DH

I love my DC very differently to my DH. It doesn't mean I love them more per se, but I love them unconditionally. I could walk away from DH if I felt I needed to, but not my kids.

I was trying to explain to people on my antenatal thread that you love your children more (they were of with pfb) and they didn't get it. I thought for a while I was mental but my DH will always come after my children even though we have a great relationship and I love him loads!!

I really want to answer this - and did in my head while reading everyone elses - but now it is my turn to type, I can't.

MyinnergoddessisatLidl - not coldhearted, just honest

Just fabulous. Answer it in your own time, we wont dislike you for it. Its your own decision From your own experience. No one will jugde you for it

I'm with Defence on this.

It makes no sense to me to rank a family in terms of who is most loved.

Love (at least as I understand and experience it) is not quantifiable in that way.

I know people seem to feel really proud of boasting about how they love their children more, but it always sounds hollow and silly to me.

I love DH. I love my 3 daughters. We are a family. The thought of the loss of any of them is unbearable. I certainly don't sit around imagining horrible things befalling them so I can work out which of them I love least

DC's first. Without a doubt. And always will be, even when DC's are 50.

I find it impossible to love a partner quite as unconditionally as I do my DC - if my toddler DS3 hit me, I wouldn't kick him out, if a partner ever did, they would be out of the door quicker than you can say "Don't let the door hit you on the way out".

There ARE more conditions on love for a partner - if they cheated on you, you would more than likely leave a partner. If your DC gets a new Stepmum, you're not going to leave your DC, are you?!

I love my DP in a different way to my DC. I love my DCs differently too, not more or less than each other, just differently.

I have two DDs, one is 22 the other is 7. I still feel that intense protective love of my DD2, shes cute, she can be frustrating as her behaviour is sometimes challenging. Just like most 7yos. My 22 yo doesn't live at home, its a different sort of love, i love the fact thats shes "out there" making a life for herself. I don't worry about her being out at night (she has a VERY sensible and obedient DP who pretty much runs here anywhere she wants to go), she's feisty (to the point that we do clash) and opinionated, beautiful and sassy. So with the DDs, its like - Theres my baby and thats my girl!!! If that makes any sense at all.

I don't love my DP as intensely as i used to, but that says more about our relationship than the fact we have children. :(

I don't quantify love though.

DH and I both see it like this: we both had traumatic events in our childhoods (bereavement/divorce). Before we had the DC, if we were offered the chance to go back in time and have those things not happen, but risk never meeting each other, we'd probably take the risk. Nowadays we wouldn't, because we can't bear the thought of not having the DC. So we both know that we love them more than we love each other, while being immensely grateful to and crazy about each other for co-authoring the DC. It works for us.

Just because love is different (unconditional v conditional) doesn't mean it is more.

if my toddler DS3 hit me, I wouldn't kick him out, if a partner ever did, they would be out of the door quicker than you can say "Don't let the door hit you on the way out".

:o

You can't really be comparing being hit by a toddler to DV?!

If your adult son hit you, would you kick him out?

That's a little more comparable.

Defence - I am with you on this too. The amazing thing about love is that the more you give, the more you get - and it is infinite; and there's no such thing as 'too much love' (if what you are talking about is, in actuality, love, rather than all those other things that masquerade as love).

I would say the same as all of your - children first.

I wonder what my husband would say? Mmmmmmm me first, or the children?
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.
.
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. he died a long time ago - but still.........

It's not a matter of loving who more for me. It's a very different kind of love.

Who do I tend to? Protect? Fight for if necessary? Save in a fire or from stormy waters? My dcs of course. Dh is a grown up. He can look after himself. But that doesn't mean I love him 'less' as it were.

I like AF's answer best. Before I split with faithless tosser DD's dad it was:

DD
My mum
Ex

His would be:

His children (inc DD) equally
Himself

And that would be it...

DD
Cats
Cake

I'm probably the same as AnyFucker.

Love my children, my husband, my cats and some of my close family and friends in different ways. And dark chocolate. DH and I always prioritise our relationship and we are the most important things in each other's lives. Maybe apart from the dark chocolate!

I read somewhere that in a fire, a husband will try to save his wife; the wife will try to save the children; the children will try to save the goldfish... Sounds about right to me!

DH and I periodically have the conversation about who goes for whom so we both know what we are doing if there is a fire. He was saying leave the cat to get herself out though .