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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

If you were really upset with DH over something from the past which has been dredged up...

13 replies

schneebly · 07/03/2006 07:48

would you still go away with him for a couple of days as planned? He is due to go on a training course today and we can go to the city with him - hotel is all paid for etc and me and the kids have the day time to ourselves but am worried about the atmosphere travelling and at night. He really wants me to go but I am just feeling really miserable and cant see the point. What would you do?

OP posts:
beetroot · 07/03/2006 07:49

Give him a kiss and make a pledge to enjoy it. The kids will love it.

beetroot · 07/03/2006 07:49

YOu have to deal with the past. and get over it.

schneebly · 07/03/2006 07:51

Not sure I can do - it is something he did in the past which I only found out about at christmas and I was dealing with it really well until last night when something he did brought it all out again and I feel like I am back at square one.

OP posts:
charmkin · 07/03/2006 07:54

Depends what he did, not everything is really easy to get over no matter how hard you try. Maybe you still need to talk about it?

schneebly · 07/03/2006 07:55

believe me - it is not at easy thing to get over and I thought I was doing so well but am now worried that is going to keep coming up again and again - I cant cope with that I dont think.

OP posts:
LadySherlockofLGJ · 07/03/2006 08:02

Go or don't go, but do not beat yourself up about it.

The other issue will have to be dealt with again, but for now the question is do you go or do you not go ?

charmkin · 07/03/2006 08:04

Go
and deal with the other issue when you get back.

KBear · 07/03/2006 08:04

Go, you've got all day without him to mull it over again and hopefully by tonight you will have calmed down again and will be able to have a sensible discussion about it. If you stay home you'll only be stewing anyway and he won't be there to talk to tonight.

Good luck, sounds serious, hopefully you can work it out but it will probably take lots of time and forgiveness.

schneebly · 07/03/2006 08:05

I dont knwo - I have until 11am to get everyone packed if going. I was really looking forward to it but dont want to be stuck in car with him for 5.5 hours!

OP posts:
schneebly · 07/03/2006 08:07

Thanks - I suppose it wont really help anything if I dont go - I will just sit here stewing. I should go but am not looking forward to it.

OP posts:
angelp · 07/03/2006 08:24

Couple of days apart may do you both good though? Time to think.........

beetroot · 07/03/2006 09:34

You know you have to deal with things like this and put them behind you.

If you really cannot forgive him then you need to thinkabout living your life without him.

However, we al make mistakes adn if you have chosen to stay you both need to let it go.

And the kids dont need to to stay at home with a miserable mummy instead of having fun n a hotel

verysadthistime · 07/03/2006 17:55

Agree with the beet, these things corode so many relationships.

They have to be dealt with and forgotten

vstt

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