Feeling totally lost

[justwanderingalong]

I posted a while back about how I thought my DP was cheating or trying to cheat on me. Turns out he is far worse person than I thought he was. On Monday morning he got up and told me he was going to shop for newspaper. Half an hour later he still hadn't returned so I started texting him and after no reply I noticed that a sum of money that I had gotten from my Mum to put into my Auntie's bank account was missing. After a frenzied search of the room I realised that my DP had taken the money and ran. He did eventually answer my texts and his excuse for doing this was that he couldn't take living with me and my DC anymore.

Too cut a long story short the police were phone and my family started a search. On Mon night DP phoned to tell me he was in London and was sorry and to beg my forgiveness. I refused point blank. He reappeared on Tues night with some of the money and made arrangements with my Auntie to repay the rest in instalments and begged for the police to be called off and if they were agreed that he would not kick me and kids out onto street. Unfortunately for me the tenancy is in his name only and I've not lived here for 6 months to qualify for joint. The police were not willing to drop the charges so he has still been charged and bailed back to this address until he has court in 4 weeks time.

He is trying to act like everything is normal. I've told him it is definetly over and there is no going back and for kids sake will talk to him but that is it. I've been to council and should be housed pretty quickly.

I thought it would be easy to stick it out until sort own place out but I'm finding it really hard. I have so much anger towards him and I am so upset that I'm struggling to sleep and have lost my appetite. He keeps trying to have a talk with me about our future and I have told him that I'm not having the conversation as we have no future. At the same time as doing this he is also contacting every possible female he can via social networking to try and arrange meet ups. I feel sick that he can claim to care for me and my DC but show so much disregard for our feelings and feel so used. I just want to curl up and not come out until this is all over with but need to try keep things normal for DC's sake.

Sorry so long just needed to get it all out.

It's intolerable that you're having to continue living with such a despicable thief - I'm sure you can't stand to look at him.

You've said that you should get housed by your local authority fairly quickly. Would it be possible for you to stay with family/friends either until that happens or at least for a week or so, or even just for this weekend?

As the tenancy of the property you're living in is in his sole name, you don't have any legal right to remain there and I would suggest that you give some consideration to presenting yourself to your local council as being homeless. Given the circumstances, I would hope they'd be sympathetic to your plight.

Sounds awful. 4am is always a bad time isn't it?
Would he go & stay with a friend for a while till you get your own place?

Unless the police are willing to vary his bail conditions, he can't stay anywhere else Hold.

It's taken a lot of courage to get this far &, if you're still living in the same place, it's no wonder you're stressed and worn out. I'd also recommend getting yourself and the children away somewhere until your housing comes through. Family? Friends? The less contact you have with him now, the quicker you'll be able to get your wits together and start to relax. Good luck.

Well at least you now what a despicable cunt he is and can emotionally bannish him from your lives. Im so sorry for you. If he steps out of line at all, call the police - get some advice from Women's aid and contact your local council/HAs to see if you can get some sort of temp housing.

I made sure that he told Council that he was willing to let me stay here as long as it takes to find somewhere else. Took advice from local homeless resource centre and they told me that as over crowded here (should have 4 beds as 2 non co-habiting adults so should have bedroom each and my DD's should have seperate room from DS) will get somewhere quicker if remain here instead of moving to homeless. Also looking to do just one move as homeless would bounce me and DC around for months on end.

I've been in touch with Woman's Aid and just to contact them if need anything. Police also know the situation about our agreement for me to remain here and he was told by then has to be civil to me and kids. He has been civil so far. I just can't stand to look at him anymore.

He is probably hoping that being nice to you will get you to drop charges - been there and had wool pulled over my eyes, it's not nice. Keep in contact with the police and if you feel threatened or intimidated just call them for advice. Can you keep out of his way as much as possible, go out, take kids out, eat picnics out and get family and friends round when you can. And find out how long til the case is likely to come up. One good thing is that he has shown his colours in such a decisive way