Oh poo.

[DozyDuck]

My relationship broke down over a year ago, we got back together for a bit. I posted on here about it I think. But it didn't work out.

I have a DS ASD, hardly any communication at all, of any it's echolalic.

He just said to me 'I love X but he didn't come back'

First ever real sentence, first time he's ever told me what he's feeling, and it's that.

I'm heartbroken.

Oh :(
Poor little guy. FWIW he doesn't need to say he loves you, you're there and always will be

Oh you poor thing. All you can do is hang on to the fact he did make a sentence, he did tell you what he was feeling - I so hope there will be more. Would Ex see your DS again, do you think - or would that be too confusing?

I don't talk to ex anymore and doubt he could see DS again without stuff happening between us again. I love him to bits but it was not a good relationship after the trust broke down.

DS has me and his dad and his dads partner and hasn't seen ex for ages. I wanted to be excited about his first proper sentence not like this.

Could ex stay in his life as a friend sort of thing?

How old is your son?

X post

No, don't be heartbroken, although it is hard. It is a totally natural feeling a secure and otherwise well adjusted child would have and he felt he wanted to share it with you. X

That's so bittersweet isnt it!?

Actually I think I have something in my eye.

Ps stealth DS says he loves me constantly to the point where the word has no meaning anymore (I think I tell him too much and he repeats it constantly) but this time he was using it to tell me something which is a first. A major step forward but I can't tell anyone the progress because I'll just break down

Son is 6

Oh sorry, think i understand.

No, you need to turn it around. He wouldn't share that with you unless he was safe and comfortable and loved would he and you can't completely take away times when when he will be hurt by life but you can be there for him for as long as he shares his feelings with you, this could be seen as part of that mother/child bond and a step forward in that way. You must have known before he feels like that? It is good if he can tell you now too. And he'll tell you other things too.

I think it might be because it's the summer holidays and is at home more with less to think about without school. Maybe he has only just realised and he hasn't mentioned ex for ages.

Bear in mind I know nothing, but is there any chance your DS needed an emotion as strong as this to open the door? Any chance that heartbreaking as what he said is, maybe he actually needed the loss/experience of missing your Ex to enable some communication, if you see what I'm clumsily trying to say?

Maybe but you are missing the "yay! He said his first sentence" bit! It is happy, don't forget because what he actually said made you feel a little sad for him.

Thanks offred I needed to hear that. I know it's good he told me and he is taking giant leaps forward at the moment in ways which are hard for us all to deal with

He has just learnt about feeling sad. Before his only emotions where giddy or angry. Now there's sad too which the psychologist tells us is a really positive step forward but it's hard for parents who have never really had to see their 6 year old be sad

I just started a very new relationship too. Few months in ;(DS doesn't know and won't unless it gets super serious) and I think it just makes me feel guilty that I'm starting to move on when DS obviously hasn't at all

Maybe hassled. I haven't got a clue myself tbh. Autism is a complicated little world...

Tbh every positive first step that little monkey does seems bitter sweet. First time he drew a picture that looked anything like a person (circle with lines) was on my wall I didn't know whether to be ecstatic or cross with him

He sounds lovely! I suppose it is like you are experiencing the whirl of new parent emotions in slow motion over a longer period which sounds a little torturous but being sad about something that should make you sad is quite a good thing for a person as is being able to share that feeling with those close to you. Xx

Thanks offred it's been really helpful to get it off my chest. Think I'll go to bed now as he'll be up and about again in a couple of hours

Yes get some sleep! What a roller coaster! X