Feeling down, insecure and generally crap. Realised new guy is out of my league

[crapstix]

So, guy I've only very, very recently started seeing - we have loads in common, have a laugh, mutual physical attraction - never been to his house though and he's never been to mine.

Well he's just sent me a few pics of his house. It's a huge, detached 4 bedroomed house with an immaculate garden, conservatory, big garage - that house he shared with his wife in a perfect little cul-de-sac in a quiet little village. He's on the verge of selling it and this is, he says the only reason it looks so perfect.

But christ - I live in a tiny ex council house on the edge of a rough estate. My garden is a tip and the inside of my house is shoddy and cheap. I'm so embarrassed and I think as soon as he realises how I live, he'll run a mile.

I'm feeling so down about it all. I'm a uni student at the moment so need to keep my rent low. He's a high paid supervisor in a big company.

I'm out of my league arnt I.

No you're not - he had all those material trappings with his ex wife and that didn't work out.

If he is snobby about where you live take it as a sign he is a knob and be thankful you found out early.

What ARE you talking about???? Lets put it this way, if he leaves because you live in a shabby area he wasn't worth it in the first place! He is going out with YOU not your house!

I can understand how you feel, but if your home looks homely then he will be fine.

There's a difference between having a home that's uncared for and a home that's loved. Is yours loved?

Don't forget he was very unhappy in that house. He's selling it. If you welcome him into a loving family home, everything will be fine.

No you aren't. But may I suggest you'd be better off working on yourself first....before dating. Maybe get your self asteem back?

Putting this guy on a pedestal. That you don't deserve. Only heartache lies that way and it will attract fuckwits.

The I will regret this thread, thread. Should be interesting reading for you..

He doesn't come across as the snobby type at all, he's really down to earth - I just feel so embarrassed that at the age of 31 - this is all I've managed to achieve. I don't want him to think I'm a lazy loser.

You never know. I completely understand how you feel and why - I go out with a man who's got s rock stars house and I live in a flat with pebble dash on the outside!!

But its the love and spirit that counts girl, and never forget it.

Tidy up and make it smell nice. His wife may have been perfect but something was obviously missing otherwise they'd still be together.

It is not things that keep us, and if he is into that then best you find out. But it is love and things of the soul that bind us. Don't fall into despair. x Its a trap.

See I felt fine about myself before this. I'm reasonably attractive, tall and slim, I have a career ahead of me, my own car - but when he showed me that house my first thought was "shit, when he realises he'll be long gone".

I'm feeling a bit wobbly today anyway so this has just triggered. I suffer a mild form of bipolar which he isn't aware of (but will probably soon discover at the rate things are going)

A fancy house doesn't mean a thing if he is a jerk who would walk away because you don't have the same.

The early stages are shite aren't they, as well as being great. I understand completely, I'm 4 months in and we are just negotiating day to day living stuff like I work so hard all day and need a break at night, he works for himself and does his stuff during the day where I have to do all of mine at night but he wants to play, hence I am cream crackered...

But look, you're alright as you are, really. If he likes you he likes you. You have to take the chance.

I went out with a bloke who was quite well off and I was a lodger and then made an ill advised move to a friend's shit hold council house, and when he used to come round he made such an effort to get on with the people it made my heart melt. Next thing I moved in with him.

You'll be fine, whatever happens, and DON'T give in to that negativity. Look up positive stuff right now.