Opinions please...

[onceuponadaydream]

Even as I am typing this I feel as though I am being ridiculous...

DP shouted and swore at me this morning because I had left the base of the pram in the place of the house where the ironing board usually goes. It would have taken 10 seconds to move it to put the ironing board up.

He then stormed off to work without saying bye.

That's not normal, is it?

Honestly? NO. If that were my DH, we'd be having serious words about him being a twat but it wouldn't happen in the first place because he doesn't know what an ironing board is, then again, neither do I...

Has he shown behaviour like this before?

No...but us that it? Is that the only problem? If so could he be incredibly stressed? Something major going on at work today?

Don't get me wrong it's bang out of order. But unless it's a regular thing which repeats itself, then I don't see from this one off incident. He's totally abnormal. If it is this and only this.

Feel for you is your baby young is it your first one? , the reason I am asking is sometimes Men can find it hard to cope with a new addition to the household, not that I am exscusing him in any way what he did was BANG out of order, I think you need to ask him the cause of his outburst and hopefully he will talk to you and tell you what is bothering him and apologise to you, all the best .

No it's not normal. Shouting and swearing is abusive, especially so given the reason.

Link to previous thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1482780-Dont-know-what-to-do-anymore

I'm just so tired that I don't know if I am overreacting. I did tell him before that the next time he swore at me in front of DS, I would be gone. But it just seems so trivial now

Well.....it seems that this is a one incident of many then. I think you'd have been better posting on the other thread with the whole back story. As the op sounds like its just a one off.

I hate abuse fwiw. But I do get humans are not infallible. I could almost understand a one of muttering. With new baby, job stress, etc. Although not justify such shitty behaviour.

But there is lots more to it I see..

No it is not normal and your previous thread re him is also very troubling.

Why are you with him, what do you get out of this relationship now?. He is no decent role model for your son to look up to is he?.

Where do you see yourself in a year's time - still with this person?. He will destroy you emotionally in the end and he is trying to destroy you now.

Just remember that the relationship you model is a big influence on your ds. If you want him to treat women with respect then don't allow him to be brought up in an environment where his mum is spoken to like a piece of crap. If your dp can't/won't treat you properly then move on because you (and ds) deserve better.

I swear mumsnet is a feminist uptopia. Sorry, but this is RL. I don't know one couple not one, that has never swore or shouted.

OP, go with your gut, you know he is stressed, talk to him about it later, you will probably find he will apologise.

We are all human.

Becareful posting for adivice on here, there is alot of man hating.

numbertaker, did you read the OP's other thread linked to upthread? You really should.

It's not 'man-hating' to say that a man who won't lift a finger to care for his child or wife, a man who let his wife come home from hospital and made her carry her own bag from the car and start the cleaning while he played on his laptop, a man who says taking his sick child to hospital is 'boring' and he won't do it again, IS AN ARSE!

The swearing and shouting is normal behaviour from time to time in any happy relationship. In this particular relationship though it has a much more sinister significance, and sorry as I am to think it, I think it's only a matter of time before the OP's H starts hitting her.

Did not see the other thread.

However, mumsnet is still a over utopian about expected male/human behaviour.

So after looking at the other thread, WHY, would the OP post about this being 'normal or not' surely the writing is on the wall.

I think that kind of bad behaviour is very normal. It is not right, but I think it is very normal. OPs DP had a childish strop because everything wasn't where he expected it to be. It is petulant, brat-like & a waste of energy - but sadly it is very normal.
OP, I haven't read your other thread, but based on what you posted here, I would say your DP is behaving badly - but not in a freakish way and actually, given what we see posted on here day in day out - yes, it is fairly normal.

Has he always been like this (i.e. was he a lazy twunt before your DS was born?) or is it just since the baby?

If it's all since the birth of the baby, do you think he might be depressed? Major changes in life (and a baby is about as major as you can get) can cause depression.

People react to depression differently. Irritability, irrational behaviour, laziness, these are things that depressed people do.

Also (and I'm BY NO MEANS blaming you here, I have a 7 month old myself and know what those first few months are like) but since you are so preoccupied with DS, perhaps you have missed other warning signs.

It's rare but men get PSD too.

Would he be open to going to see a counsellor?

My husband has never sworn at me, not once in 30 years and I don't think that kind of behaviour is remotely normal - tutting, a bit of a moan if something has annoyed you is "normal" , shouting and swearing isn't.

If people think any of what OP has described is normal, it speaks volumes about their own relationships, sadly.

what she said..
don't put up with it.
oh, and, leave the bastard!

Oh do cut it out with your Judgy tone malificence. It's quite clear from ops previous he is abusing her.

Your husband is perfect we know, he never wanks, etc, etc. My husband has never sworn at me....but I don't think you have the right in every thread you post on to sit in judgement of EVERONE else's relationship.