vote, can you talk with your dh about everything? your friends?

[happywithit]

i talk to my dh about everything, anything that will bother me about my friends, or anything happend to me, but when we have any argument he all the time bring it up, insulte me that i am not good, why do i speak about them, i never say something bad, and i will never tell someone else except him, but he does it all the time, i am wright or no? please let me see how many one can do this.
when we are out i cant make any joke or comment about anybody (normal joke between 2 peple), he all the time waiting to juge me?

Why are you with him if you can't talk to him without him judging you and using it against you?

He should be your best friend, the person you can confide in. It should be you and him against the world, not him against you.

That doesn't sound like normal behaviour to me. I talk to my DH about everything. He's always asking me how my friends are doing. Even if he doesn't agree with you it shouldn't be critical.

at happy to hear that, a bit releif, i am reading it and i am crying, i was thinking i am wrong, its just me. i really can stop crying now.

happy, have you posted before? If you have (I may be wrong), then this is just one of many things about your relationship that isn't right.

i am happy to hear what imperialbelther told me, as i was thinking i am wrong to talk to him, i was thinking that its me who got a problem, i start to be mad.

yes i did post before, as we are not getting on, thats why i thnking about whst he said anout me, this is one off them

Happy, hope Im not jumping to conclusions but are you in UK? I'm a language teaCher and your sentence construction does sound quite 'first language' to me?

If so, have you got lots of friends you can talk to about things? Your dh sounds rather:..well.... Angry, to be honest. Is he often accusing you like this?

Hope I'm not way off, or causing offence with this...

Crap, meant to post NOT first language!

because when i am telling some people, they just advice me not to tell him about anything, but i can help it as we are living together, i forgot sometime or think he will not bring it, its just nothing but he does.

yes it not, he is, i am leaving and working in uk for 12 years.

i do have a few friends.

Honey, he's your husband. You should be able to talk with him and not haVe him shout at you when he has a problem?
There's more to this than an arguing husband, surely?

ha doesnt like me talking to my familly, he said i am still baby to call my mum and my familly, i still didnt left home, his mum and dad, are just in london but he doesnt go to visit them, when i ask him to do so he tell me to mind my bussiness, his mum and dad very old, and ill is well.

he left school at 16years, and familly home is well, he is been leaving just with friend untill he got his place, he didnt know the familly life, can this affect him?
i finish my studies, i was accountant in my country, i came here, i study more accountency and move to child care where i get my level 4 qualification and get jobs, but he still putting me down.
and make a comment about everything i said.

Ok, shooting from the hip I see you as s poster who is isolated from friends and family. By her husband.

Who is mocked for wanting to speak to her mother. By her husband.

Who is shouted at for asking questions. By her husbaNd.

Who is .... Being controlled. By her husband.

Am I totally off the target here?

I could be wrong but weren't you called 'nothappywithit'' last night? I also feel your English is quite well put together.

i all the time call my self happywithit, because i was trying to make myself happy even with this situation. i never change my name, i will maybe once i leave this marriage, i will be called was nothappy but pretending.

When I was married I would gossip away with my exH the same as I do with friends. Like you, what I thought was fun/jokey stuff said in confidence got turned back against me in arguments and I got accused of being 'bitchy' and 'two-faced' etc. Partners have a lot of personal & private information on each other by definition, so if they really want to inflict pain, they have plenty of ammunition. Your husband is doing precisely that.... using private information against you. It's a really low trick.

Ever since the experience with exH I haven't been quite so keen to 'share' everything with someone again. I save gossiping for girlfriends.

that's wright.

Happy, are you thinking about leaving him?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1524005-is-anyone-living-with-same-man

Your earlier thread described a nasty, lazy man that threatens to tell Social Services that you are abusing the children & turns on the waterworks if you say you're leaving. Now you say he uses private information to attack & belittle you. The house is in your name and you'd like to get him out. Focus on that and give the Womens Aid helpline another call.

i told him that i want him to leave the house, he said, he is looking for places once he will find where to go he will leave, he is using sitting room now, i am in bedroom with my 2 babies.
hope will happend soon, in pace.

in peace.

'Looking' isn't really a commitment to leave. Give him an actual deadline when you want him out.... it will focus his mind and make him see you're serious. Two or three weeks should be plenty.

I remember your pevious posts clearly now.
Never thought i'd say this as i hate those "leave the bastard threads".
But yes, plan and scheme and leave the sorry bastard.