DCs are telling their friends that XP moved out because 'Mummy got mardy with daddy'

[HauntedLittleLunatic]

XP left because of an OW.

Of course I got mardy with him.

I strongly suspect that this is the explaination he has given, but I don't want to be blamed...but there's not a.lot I can do is there?

I know through their behaviour that the DTDs (11) are aware that OW (a family 'friend') was involved, although I have made a point of not telling them.anything so it is all what they have picked up on
themselves.

The above is what I overheard dd3 (6) saying.

It's unfair that I have been blamed for him leaving...just because I have protected them from the details and him from the blame.

Seperation happened about 15m ago btw...

Thanks. I'm finding the last couple of posts much more useful.

I wasn't trying to be obtuse earlier. I just frustrated that you were agreeing with what I want but having looked thoroughly into it I couldn't see a way I could legally acheive it.

Presumably you could tell them that Daddy wanted to be with another woman so he left but that doesn't seem to have worked out, you don't have to say who the OW was.

Can you deflect some of their questions "best ask daddy that"

If nothing else let him erm and ah and sweat whilst he thinks up a lie to tell them!!! The truth will come out eventually so be as honest as you can without stirring the situation.

another phrase is Husband and wife should be best friends always putting each other first and Daddy wasn't mine anymore so he left????

I don't see why you have to tell the dcs who the ow is or get involved with ratting him out, just think about your own children. One day they will know the full truth and how are they going to feel about the position they are being put in now (you will come of well but they may feel cheated about the time with their dad the other dcs and angry). I have to say I absolutely would expect him not to take your dcs round to play with hers as a bare minimum expectation in these circs. Often what makes dcs happy in the short term can mess them up later with things like this. If he has contact what the hell is wrong with him seeing his kids without his gf/her dcs. You may not officially have a right to get a court order saying so but if you have good reasons as you do then it is possible to insist on it.

You can get it by asserting yourself. I wouldn't be guided too much by the law but by what is best for the children and keeping them from harm because the law can often be made to fit around this if you can assert yourself and get the people administering it to understand or if you can assert yourself to insist on it with your x.