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Relationships

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Original poster

Sex and Online Dating - how long?

41 replies

MrsToddNeeLovett · 24/07/2012 10:04

Those of you who are doing the online dating thing -

How long do you wait before

a) a proper kiss
b) sex

It's been soooooo long since I've dated that I really don't know what the norm is anymore. Obviously it's when you feel comfortable but I was just curious about everyone elses time scales?

OP posts:

Teansympathy · 25/07/2012 08:36

Just enjoy yourself there are no hard and fast rules for this, as the other posts say it depends on how YOU feel about it ALL listen to your instincts and go with the flow , have a lovely time and I hope you meet the man of your dreams X

Labisiffree · 27/10/2012 08:59

Trying this dating thing at the moment, also v worried about lady bits, will he not like mine?? but also worried about my whole body even though its ok, just nervous of the whole thing.
So far, just chats, but it might lead to a date and A) or/and B)?!!

tiredofwaitingforitalltochange · 27/10/2012 09:39

Re a) and b), I think what a) is like would determine whether b) was even an option. I couldn't imagine going to bed with someone who was a bad kisser or even having another date with them.

I've seen threads on here started by women in agony about their dp being a horrible kisser but 'the sex is great'. I don't even GET that! How could it be?

sweetpetite · 27/10/2012 22:25

Maybe their OH eats loads of smelly garlicy food?

NewNames · 27/10/2012 22:28

Whenever you're ready. If the urge to shag doesn't hit relatively quick then it probably never will.

Also, I always skipped the masses of email/text/chat crap. Straight to the date. Such a waste of time if you don't meet relatively soon.

janelikesjam · 27/10/2012 22:34

Wait ... for both ... until you (and they) are feeling a bit desperate and can't wait anymore , as hopefully it will mean something rather than a stroke to the ego or a quick thrill.

It hacks me off the way a big snog is expected on a first date now, sex on the third date, and so on. At this rate, its cheaper than prostitution and probably less effort ...

Second rule of thumb: get to know them fairly well first; decide if you like and trust them (I know, revolutionary).

This is all from bitter experience btw in case you hadn't guessed

feckitt · 28/10/2012 12:45

Oh my! Have just had the courage to set up a profile on a dating site. Now I have to think about my lady garden? It's all too much. Loving the conversations though.

pushitreallgood · 28/10/2012 12:55

we had been chatting on line for about a month, then first date he asked me for a kiss i nearly said no, but we were having such a nice time i didn't want to spoil the vibe. second date i was feeling it much more and we ended up back at his even though i was saying we would no be having sex, ummmmm ok then. 2 years later and one baby still going better than going strong. lady garden was trimmed and shaved at the side but he prefers a fuller bush so i just trim now but every once in a while i get rid of it all or shave it a bit and he loves that to so really i dont think guys are as fussy as the mags would have us believe.

sweetpetite · 28/10/2012 15:02

I am worried about how my lady bits look too- other partners haven't ever commented but its not very neat- ie I am
Not made like the porn stars and labiaplasty not an option! Do I mention my worries to a potential shag?!

Tressy · 28/10/2012 15:28

I went on a few internet dates and would view the first one as just deciding whether to see each other again so never snogged on the first date. I didn't really sleep with many internet dates as I didn't fancy most of them but would prefer to wait until the 3rd before we DTD as by then I most definitely did fancy them or I wouldn't have got to a third date if not.

If you like him, I would say give it a few dates.

Kundry · 28/10/2012 16:11

It all depends on you and your date!

I'm happily married to mine now. I'd have kissed him on the first date but both of us were rather naive and old-fashioned (despite being in our mid thirties). So it took us several dates to kiss and when he first stayed overnight, I was fairly sure he'd ask to sleep in the spare room - thank goodness he didn't, but he had brought his pyjamas! The sex took a while as both of us were a bit clueless and I have vaginismus, however the fact that he took as much time as I needed helped me know he was 'the one' IYSWIM, rather than following a script.

On the topic of lady gardens, I decided he could take it as he found it. If I wouldn't do it for me, I wouldn't do it for a man!

Opentooffers · 28/10/2012 16:58

Anyone noticed how there seem to be quite a few men about that garden these days? I suspect they are the ones who are trying to look bigger or porn watchers who copy - ew!

Opentooffers · 28/10/2012 17:07

...excepting the cultural reasons for shaving.

OhEmGee25 · 28/10/2012 17:54

First date was two days after the first PoF message. Snogged within two hours of our first date, didn't dtd until about five weeks in. Been together ten months and just bought our first house. Lady garden has and will always be waxed all over! For me not him - though I know he likes it!

Fairylea · 28/10/2012 18:02

With dh it was ages before we kissed.. I'm talking several weeks.. maybe 5 dates!! We were both so nervous and were never too sure if we liked each other... ! Madness lol. He got on the train home one night and text me while I was sitting at the station for mine saying "I feel like a mug" ... because he hadn't kissed me! So the next date we had a kiss... right at the end of the date!

He came round to mine a couple of weeks later while dd was at her dad's and I basically pounced on him, I couldn't wait any longer! But the thing was he hadn't assumed we'd have sex so he didn't have any condoms! So we had to wait till the following week ! :)

Several years later and ds aged 4months I think things worked out ok :)

And I'm bald as a turkey down there.

KirstyWirsty · 28/10/2012 18:15

Not online dating but someone from work a) snogged on first date b) shag is going to be on Wednesday

My garden is trimmed and shaved ..I am most concerned about the fact that I have lost 1.5 stones and my boobs are a bit like empty pockets.. They look fantastic in a plunge bra but not so great unsupported !!!

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