Unknown

[helsbels03]

I need to know honestly if I am being unreasonable- got back from camping yesterday so have lots of washing, camping stuff all over house and general end if term stuff everywhere, house is a mess . Today I took dd1 6, dd2 4, and ds 18mths to tescos then as they were v good to the park where we lost track of time and had to rush home for swimming lesson at 4. I did manage to make dinner ready for when we got back and do 2 loads of washing. However I did not tidy hous, nor hang all washing out. Dh got home shiksa I was at swimming lessons and watched telly for about half an hour. When we got back, I put dinner out and sat down to eat with children- cue massive row about me not having my priorities right, being lazy and never doing anything and we live in a pigsty etc etv etc. anyhow the end result( after much screaming in front of children) was that I told Hom if he could do better than to do it. I explained to children that I loved them and was going to the shop and would see them in the morning and for the first time EVR walked out and went to friends for a coffee.

I admit the house does take a back seat ( have pnd- still taking tabs for it, feeling lots better ) and I spend most of my time when not at work ( only work 3 days- teacher) with chn and have been a bit behind recently with end if term. Usual job split- dh does ironing, I do everything else. Eg have been up 3 times in the night, and got up for the day at5.20 with ds- dh slept all night

What I'm asking, is - am I feeling sorry for myself ( Pnd) or should I be looking at my options- it has been like this for so long, he is bloody grumpy and at the point where I dread family days out as he just ends up shouting at me or dc

I think you are being very badly treated

If your h has a problem with your priorities he could raise the subject in other ways, but as a mum of 3 with PND I often find it easier to be out with them than trying I juggle looking after them with housework. So often the house is left in a bad way and we just live with it. My DH sometimes complains but not directed at me because we are both responsible for the upkeep of the house.

You seem to have an unfair portion of domestic work. Can you calmly provide your DH with a list of everything you do (including being up in the night) as a way o show him this?

I'm using my lovely DH as a yardstick here for you.

My parents complain about how my house is untidy and talk about how clean their house used to be when we were small. We both have four children but I have twins. I really struggled after the twins were born and our house is about a quarter of the size of theirs (garden is a tiny town garden) also when we were small my mum ALWAYS had a cleaner who came 3 days per week. My dad is a hoarder and despite their huge house he has always hoarded a load of crap.

My DH is really happy and grateful when I cook meals, make packed lunches, do the washing and hoovering etc. He NEVER complains if it is not done and he puts up with my irritability if I am trapped in the house with a mess that I haven't got time to tidy and he ALWAYS tries to help. So conclusion, your DH can shut up, shape up or ship out...