is anyone living with same man?

[happywithit]

i am leaving with my dh for more than 11years, with 2.5ds and 1year ds, he is very lazzy, he goes to sleep all the time around 5.4 am and weak up around 11am sometimes 12, when he was working he most of time going late, or calling seek, he is not for now, but he doesnt stay wotking for long he change every year or two maximum, he think he got a lotof knowledge that he look at me all the time low than him, if i tell him something about my friend ( normal talk between husband and wife), when we having an argiment he all the time bring it up that i am talking about my friend, but i want to ask you normal question, do you speak at home how do you want with your husband or you have to control what you are saying? who got the problem me or him? if we deciding to go out than it has to be after 2 or 3 pm for him to get ready, he doesnt like to do shopping a lot, i do most of it.
is someone leaving the same life or just me?

oh yes i forgot he stay aweak to play his games or watch films on his laptop.

If you're stepping on eggshells for fear of upsetting him then something is very wrong :(

Are you happy in your relationship?

i am not happy, but at all, but i am thinking that i cant leave just with my children, i dont have a familly here, a got a few friend, i did left him before and went to refuge, got my palce, than he had a lotof problem on his and came back to me, crying saying he will change, i got him back, he give up his place, and leaving with me now for 6years, but he is not changing.

You could go to a refuge again. Where are you? Are you in the UK?

yes i am in london, but i dont want to leave mu house, first i was in his, but this is mine, i dont want to leave it. i keep asking him to leave in peace, he said untill he find place but i dont think he is thaking it serious. i am realy worried he will take my children from me, because he all time telling me this, one day, he was argying with me, my child was calling me to huge him, went i went to bed room to bed room, he was huging him and asking me to go back to the sitting room, i said i want my child, he call the social service telling them i abusing my child for not letting me go to sleep with him and leaving him aweak, and this wasnt the case, so the women in the phone just talk to me, and i explain to her the situation, she just ask me to ge and have some rest, as i was just giving a birth.
this was the shock of my life, i love my children and take care of them a lot, i dont want him to lie, so my children will be taking of me, he knew how much i love them, i do everything for them, i dont drink or go clubing, just spend all my time lookinf after my house and my familly, i am really worried him saying any lies.
this is his second marriage, he had a girl with his ex. she is leaving with her mum, i hope he will not try to take children from me, that will distroy all my life.

can he take the children off me?
can he say a lies about me to social services?
how does it work with them?
i really regret having children with him? but they are my life.

he is 48yrs, and i am 38yrs.

He can't take your children from you. He is saying that as a threat to try to scare you.

If he is lazy, he won't want to take the children, because we all know it is a lot of work looking after children isn't it?

I am sorry you are going through this and I hope you will call Women's Aid so they can advise you. They will help you, as they will have seen this situation hundreds, thousands of times.

Please call them, make an appointment and stay strong.

A lazy, nasty man that thinks you are inferior and who turns on the waterworks just to get his hown way would not be awarded custody of your children. Social Services are not stupid and they can spot a liar. They would not believe him if he told them you were abusing your children. He is just trying to frighten you.

If it is your house and you are married then you can very easily apply for a divorce and set things in motion so that he leaves rather than you. Women's Aid will be able to give you advice. Local solicitors can be found on the Law Society website and many will offer you a free half hour.

thank you a lot, does any one knew the women's aid number please that i can call?
i really need some advise.

we are married and i am putting him as partner in the house (housing association) as he came after i got the house, so he is in the list but not as the main house holder, canhe still stay in?

Womens Aid link

I'd suggest contacting your housing association and put the question to them about being the main tenant wanting to evict your husband - see what they say. But I really do think it's worth talking to CAB, a solicitor or Womens Aid about your legal rights and his legal rights. You'd find that, if you started divorce proceedings, there are other steps you can take.

It's 0808 2000 247. It's free from a land line but might show up on a mobile bill, so be careful.

thank you

if it is your name on the lease or the rent book, then he has no hold on the house, he can be removed, if he is abusive to you or the children, then call the police and they will remove him. Call womens aid love and they will give you all the help you need.

yes , its just my name, but i am putting his name as one leaving with me not the main one like me, his name is add with children names.
i know we dont get on alot, so thats way i ask for him to add but i make sure to ttell them that i dont want him to have the same wright as me in the house, but still not sure.
i called the women's help line but they ask me to call tomorrow, as they asking for my number to call me back but i cant give it to them incaise they will call me when he will be home.