Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feeling torn

2 replies

nuttytrekkermum · 22/07/2012 21:53

Not sure if this is the right thread but here goes ..
I've been dealing with depression for xxx years, and inevitably suffered PND, which the GP (lovely and sympathetic man) gave me tablets and sent me for CBT which helped a lot. The trouble is, I gradually came off my tabs a few months ago to hopefully try for another child, and it was brilliant actually feeling again, crying at soppy films etc, but I still can't seem to feel love, for my son or husband. It's been this way for a long time with my husband (I feel annoyance more than love) but I don't know if it's the illness, the tablets or I'm just not really in love with him. I'm back on some tablets fom the doctor since I couldn't stop crying last weekend (had a great time at a hen party, dancing and singing and in the morning realised I had no friends of my own, they were all my sister in laws) and I'm hoping to feel better in myself soon. Is it normal not to really feel love for your husband, especially after 16 years together and stressful jobs and a 2 1/2 year son to look after? I'm really confused and don't have anyone I can really talk to about this (no close family that would understand). Hope you haven't minded this ramble but would really like to hear from other netmums.

OP posts:
CogitoErgoSometimes · 23/07/2012 10:37

If you've had several years where your feelings have been suppressed by medication, it wouldn't be unsurprising, once the effects wear off, to find you are a bit out of touch with emotion generally.

Love is.... so much more than a raw feeling. Your actions, words and thoughts all combine to express love, even towards someone you've only just met. In a good long-term relationship, even when the first flush of romance has faded, what years and years of living together, caring for each other and being considerate to each other should leave you with is a bedrock of mutual respect and affection that allows you to work around any petty annoyances day to day. If you think there is no respect or affection, if the annoyance goes both ways, then you both need to work on restoring the basics before bringing more children into the picture.

Children start out being so dependent on us that we actively 'do' love on a 24/7 basis and the emotions catch up as we get to know them and their personalities.... for some people it takes longer than others.

jadebond007 · 23/07/2012 19:50

Could it be that you're trying too hard to feel what you 'should' feel?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread