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Original poster

The In Law from Hell

11 replies

INLOVEWITHEXSQUADDIE · 05/03/2006 19:23

My FIL is the most awful selfish man i have ever met. My DH and i have been together for 10 yrs and married for 8. My FIL has always been jealous of our relationship and is always looking to pick on me for something. Either i am a bad wife and expects DH to do everything(He is a very domesticated H)I work everyday and we share the chores. But in FIL eyes i should be sole caregiver. Any little reason to pick, i don't talk to him when he visits, i am a bad mother for putting my DD in nursery, anything at all!! Makes me so Angry
He has caused so many rows over the years, when we were arranging our wedding, because someone he knew was not invited to the ceremony and breakfast, he threatened to boycott the whole doo. There is no end to the mans malice. I HATE HIM. My DH thinks i should just go along with things to please him, NOOOOOOOO.

Now FIL is not talking to any of us and has not been in touch not even to ask how DD is, for three weeks sulking again. Pathetic! and i bet his reason will be something i have supposed to have either said or done. I have a happy marriage but it is being tested big time as DH is inclined to protect him despite knowing how much of a dhead he is. Excuse my french.

OP posts:
7up · 05/03/2006 20:00

poor you, i think youre hubby should be having a quiet word in his fathers ear after all these years. you are his wife after all and he should nt let you be treated like this. your fil sounds like a right twat, i think id be glad that he was ignoring me if i was you. that way you dont have to put up with his behaviour.

my father ignores me for weeks or months at a time when he sulks about something ive supposedly done wrong. my ds has got used to not seeing him for the length of the sulk and is fine about it. good luck

mum2sam · 05/03/2006 23:15

Make the most of it. I have the mil from hell always interfering and always playing the victim. She is a very jealous, insecure and bitter women and causes endless rows.But luckily for us she's shot herself in the foot as far as inm concerned and decided to cut ties with dh and ds as we were buying a house which just happened to be near my mum. She obviously feels very threatend by other women. Anyway dh has vowed not to give in this time as she really has pushed things too far so we havent spoken in over a month. I feel bad that it has to be this way but she's called it and something like this was bound to happen eventually.

Original poster
INLOVEWITHEXSQUADDIE · 06/03/2006 11:00

My DH knows waht a PIT ASS he is and is currently going along with FIL sulking and ignoring him too. I HATE THIS MAN SO MUCH. after the things he has done, we have always had a sparked relationship. Childish sod. needs to grow up. I won't talk to him again.

When i knew i was expecting a G, he wanted a B cause my DH is the ned of the line. And was blatently unhappy about it. Angry

OP posts:
throckenholt · 06/03/2006 11:06

When i knew i was expecting a G, he wanted a B cause my DH is the ned of the line. And was blatently unhappy about it.

um - you don't get a choice !

For I quiet life I would not pick fights with him, but just go on lliving my life in my way - and not bothering to tell him about it, and not shoving it in his face.

For instance I realised the other day that my FIL probably thinks I used DH's surname - I rarely do - but it makes not difference to him so I see no reason to pick a fight about it.

Original poster
INLOVEWITHEXSQUADDIE · 06/03/2006 11:12

I can't help but get angry and want to make things akward on puropose just to p him off. I know this is just as bad and childish but he really needs a good kick. They won't have DD at anytime, dont help out at all but are willing to voice an oppinion when it suits them on how i bring her up. They are always comparing her to her cousin B of 2 yrs. And my parenting to his mothers SIL

OP posts:
throckenholt · 06/03/2006 11:40

just shut your ears and don't rise to it. There are long term feature of your life so you might as well make it as painless as possible. There are more worthwhile things you can be doing than getting into needling matches with your FIL Smile.

So don't antagonise and don't rise to the bait (and come on here and moan if you like rather than to his face Grin).

wannaBe1974 · 06/03/2006 12:52

Don't rise to it.

I had a situation with my Fil where we had a massive falling out when DS was 10 months old, he as good as told me I was a bad parent - not in as many words, but he said that I was too possessive of DS and never let anyone else have him and that the way I was bringing him up was harmful to him. The row had been sparked by a row between my DH and his sister, and in my attempt to try and get them all to sort things out I inadvertantly made things worse and had all these comments thrown at me. Anyway things were said that couldn't be unsaid and this made things very difficult between us. Fil basically ignored me for two years. He would come to my house and would not even speak to me. And throughout I remained dignified, I made the effort to be extra nice, I cooked his favourite meals, went out of my way to accommodate them etc, imo I was the better person and he couldn't say a thing against me because there was nothing to say. And now he talks to me again.

I know that inlaws can be hard to tolerate, but deliberately picking fights is childish imo and by doing that you are just going down to his level and giving him reason to dislike you.

slug · 06/03/2006 13:27

If you really wanted to irritate him you could have endless fun deliberatly misunderstanding every spiteful comment from him.It's a tactic I use with one of my sisters. Grin

You just have to adopt a Pollyanna persona whenever he is near. Barbed comments about nurserys are answered with 'Yes, I know, it's wonderful how since going to nursery dd has really blossomed....' then go on to extoll the virtues of nursery and how dd's speech and social skills are coming along in leaps and bounds. Don't let him get a word in edgeways. Any comments about dh's housekeeping is a perfect opportunity to gush about how wonderful he is and what a 'real man' he is for not being too scared to change a nappy or clean a toilet. And as for his silent treatment, you could coo to dd in his hearing how nice grandad is for being quiet and letting Mummy get some peace. When he turns up after a protracted bout of sulking you could greet him nicely and enquire whether or not he had managed to get his phone fixed yet.

Original poster
INLOVEWITHEXSQUADDIE · 06/03/2006 13:33

That sounds like lots of fun, slug. Might try that one. He is a bit short on intelligence though.

OP posts:
slug · 06/03/2006 13:41

That's what makes it even more fun!! You can be extremly barbed under the facade of the perfect daughter in law.

Original poster
INLOVEWITHEXSQUADDIE · 11/03/2006 11:36

Old Fart Rang this morning, going to see my H thank god i won't be there. Miserable old git.

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