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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

been away for weekend and didnt want to come home

4 replies

peppapiglet · 22/07/2012 17:42

had a bad 3 yrs to put it mildly. divorce after being with exH over 10 yrs, met and split with new P who was abusive and had unplanned pregnancy with him and then mc.
i went away with my ds this weekend and i felt so utterly alone. i struggled to cope with him at times, keep him entertained etc. I got lost and it took us 5 hours to get to our destination, which should have taken 3.5 hours. i hear from no-one all weekend.. at all. no-one to say have i arrived ok etc.. my parents divorced when i was a teenager. My mother is toxic and everything is about her. when i was away, well this morning, i was utterly ill. i just didnt know what to do and i had to look after my son aswell in the hotel room. i managed and we got home ok. but when i was ill, i didnt feel i could call either of my parents. i cannot turn to my mother at all, she stresses me out. both of my parents only text me. they never call. i speak to my dad more than my mum. since my son has been born i can count on one hand how many times i have been out with my mum and son. despite her living around the corner. we got back, she did text (i am sick of texts, why can she not call me, show me any sort of concern?) my son was out playing in the front garden. She sent me a text saying she would come and get him to give me a break.. ok so i feel i need it. she came to the front garden, didnt come in, didnt ask how i was, did we have a nice time, in fact didnt even look at me, just went off with my son and said "see you later" :-( i feel i have no-one to turn to. i feel trapped. when i was away it was the free-est i have felt. i feel more in company with complete strangers. i feel like dissapearing, she is only interested in my son, not me. i am not allowed an opinion, i am not allowed to disagree with her. i just want out of my life. has anyone else moved away as a single parent and started again? i just want to let go. i am surviving as a single parent, i have no life and others are busy with theirs. i am a friendly person, i am just totally demoralised. i am crying. i do not understand why i only get texts from my own family, i feel utterly invisible. sorry for going on, i just feel so alone

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 22/07/2012 17:46

I'm so sorry you feel like this.

On a practical note, would you be able to move? Could you afford it, if you saved up? Are you restricted to the area where you live because of your ex visiting your child?

It would be great for you to move away. Tell us something about yourself - what do you like to do? What would be your ideal job? You'll get a lot of support on here - just let us help you.

dequoisagitil · 22/07/2012 17:49

I'm sorry, you sound really low.

You could move away. Why not make some plans? Have a look about and see where you'd like to live and what you'd like your life to be. You don't have to make any final decisions, just give yourself some hope/breathing space.

Do you think you're depressed? If you're seeing a doctor, perhaps go back and ask for more support, if you're not, perhaps go and have a chat with the GP?

Margerykemp · 22/07/2012 17:58

You sound depressed. Do you know any other lone parents/friends you could turn to for support?

peppapiglet · 22/07/2012 18:02

thanks for your messages. yes i am suffering reactive depression after recent events and have seen gp. i couldnt move too far away as i want my ds to continue the contact arrangement with his dad. i have taken on mortgage and have an ok job, with ok wage, however far from what i am capable of. I do have quite a lot of equity in the house. the area i live is ideal, good school, nice area etc, convenient, however my mother lives around the corner and i feel like i am being watched, she knows when i am home etc
i have thought about studying, changing jobs as my son will be going to school in sept. i guess i just feel lost and need to find a way "out".. the anxiety etc is just bad for my health. when i was away i watched families having a lovely time together, getting help from Grandparents etc and i just feel like i am missing out. i know i am seeing an "ideal" and the reality can be very different, however just to have someone would be nice. i am trying to build friendships but its slow progress and i need more quickly iyswim. I ended up staying with recent abusive partner longer than i should as i felt i couldnt get out. i worry i am vulnerable to these people

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