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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please stop me jibbing this one off.........

5 replies

mcmooncup · 21/07/2012 18:45

I am 18 months out of an abusive marriage. Have casually dated lots. Realised I am completely emotionally unavailable

OP posts:
springydaffs · 21/07/2012 19:20

you're not ready by the sound of it. you can't underestimate the trauma after being smashed to pieces by an abusive relationship - it goes deep. I'd see a counsellor though and thrash the whole thing out. When you're ready (counsellor and boyf).

mcmooncup · 21/07/2012 19:27

I think you are right.

I've been to counseling and he thought I was dealing ok with things after about 6 sessions. And I am to a large degree.

I suppose I am frustrated and impatient that my life continues to be screwed up. I want to be normal. I think I know what it looks like.......just can't quite do it.

OP posts:
izzyizin · 21/07/2012 19:34

Relax and stop overthinking.

Life isn't about 'finding' yourself, it's about reating yourself.

To be the person you want to be, fake it till you make it.

izzyizin · 21/07/2012 19:35

creating!

ladyWordy · 21/07/2012 20:01

Tick All the Boxes Intellectually Guy is not necessarily Wow! Guy. Chemistry is chemistry. It's one of those painful facts of life.

I would just pursue the relationship as a friendship and see where you get to, if anywhere. (He seems very open to that anyway). Sometimes it's not that you're cut off from your feelings or anything complex like that, just that he's a near miss, not it, IYSWIM.

Tick All the Boxes Guy can, however, become Wow! Guy after a time - if you're lucky! :)

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