You know you have met the one when...

[Livingmagicallyagain]

...there is a deep sense of ease.

This seems to be the common denominator I have heard from many much older and wiser friends and colleagues.

I have been through a lot and am now starting to realise this is so true!

Nothing else but that - many variations in relationship/feelings/dynamica etc but this as the foundation.

What do you think?

Challenges & healthy arguments still, obviously!

Depends what you think constitutes a good relationship.

I am very at ease with my dh. We don't have much in the way of thrills and spills and high energy emotions, we have a love for each other and an understanding of each other's needs.

A very good friend of mine thinks a relationship isn't worth having unless it's a rollercoaster of highs and lows with big gestures and arguments.

I've been married 15yrs. She is single after a string of relationships that didn't work out. Mostly they've cheated on her.

I think your relationship sounds wonderful, Sposh and you've just proved the point, really. I think a deep sense of ease can underpin however you define a 'good' relationship.

Such a relationship can still be 'firey' or 'calm' or whatever. But you just get each other and feel your needs are listened to. You can be yourself.

Yes - I knew I had met The One when I realised that there was a complete lack of drama and I never found myself wondering "why hasn't he called?" (this was in the Dark Ages before texting existed)

Yes, my dh was always on time, always rang, never messed be around, in another man I might have found it 'boring' (tended to go for bad boys!) but just felt a sense of comfort and almost relief.

14 years on we're still going strong :)

I think it's not so much whether there are arguments or not, but mostly what happens during them.
If both can respect each other, let it steam off if necessary and reach an understanding, then it's ok.

I've had relationships with a few men like that though - lovely men, easy relationships, no drama. So a comfortable relationship alone wasn't enough for me to indicate The One, DP also ticked a lot of other boxes about his future aspirations, intelligence, attitudes to my ambitions and ability to provide. I think I could have continued in relationships with exes which were tripping along nicely without drama, but eventually I knew I'd get bored and frustrated with their limited horizons.

I agree, flame - "comfortable" is very different to deep ease. And ease is different to "easy". I think the sense of deep ease can come with that feeling of aliveness and expanded horizons/the right challenges that I would love in my next relationship!

And deffo Lue - arguments are healthy if they are healthy! I.e. they are respectful.