Going to Court to claim Ancillary Relief

[Twitterqueen]

Hi all
Does anyone have experience of going to court to claim ancillary relief? Not-quite-ex has refused to move divorce progress further (he owes me a large part of his pension) and won't appoint a solicitor. All I get is abusive texts when I try to ask him to resolve things.
We verbally agreed an agreement a year ago but nothing was ever signed and he hasn't even honoured the verbal, which was very biased in his favour. He is completely illogical. I have spoken to a solicitor informally and she reassured me it was the right thing to do. Just wondering if anyone has actually done it themselves and has any advice for me?

I have been through it more than once - first when it was initially set by the court and then later to get it changed. You will need to fill in a very detailed financial statement (called a Form E) and your STBX will also be required to do so (the court will send the forms to each party). You can start proceedings yourself for a fee (about £300) and represent yourself if you feel able to.

However the issues are complex and it would be better if you can afford to use a solicitor. But it will cost money - each time I went through this there were three hearings. If you do this with a solicitor it can cost you thousands (so solicitors benefit from this of course!), so make sure it is worth it. Ask the solicitor if mediation would be more cost-effective, although cooperation from your STBX would be necessary. Make sure you understand the costs (and ways to minimise them) before you start.

My ex severed all contact so I had to start proceedings. I was awarded an order for costs so didn't worry too much when I had to pay for the first financial hearing (1500), which he didn't attend, as I knew I'd get the money back at the end.

The judge moved straight to a final hearing and I had to have him served with papers as he was living in America. A barrister was appointed at £800 ph before twatface finally realised he couldn't ignore the writ, so he got himself a solicitor and won an adjournment the day before the final hearing should've been heard.

Fast forward 6 months and he made an offer on the basis that I wouldn't pursue him for costs. Nearly all the extra £10k I'd offered him 2 yrs earlier was swallowed up in legal costs and my solicitor was made partner but I'd much rather it went to her firm than him.

Thanks both - I replied a little earlier but I don't see my response posted yet.
Basically, mediation is unfortunately out of the question. He has a police harrassment caution, has sent malicious mails to my family and friends and has been horrible to the DDs. And I mean verbally abusive over a period of many years.
My solicitor was useless. She was supposedly a mediation specialist but all she ever suggested was to "write a letter to his solicitor" but when he won't appoint one, and refuses to respond to anything, what's the point of that?!

OP, I am going to court very soon for the the First Appointment. This is after a very recent trial where my nearly Ex was found guilty of assaulting me. In these terms I am in a similar situation to you but a bit ahead. He too has been completely controlling and abusive about the finances as well as everything else so I had to serve the papers or whatever it is called some time ago. He is manipulating the situation even now - hasnt exchanged Form E's even though he should have etc etc.
Mediation is NOT advised or expected in DV situations. It sounds to me like you need a better and probably more experienced solicitor who has dealt with situations like yours and mine.
I would advise once you have done this to deal with all financial matters through your solicitor. Tell you Ex this and dont waiver from it. Dont contact him after this AT ALL.
I will be posting how I get on at the financial hearings on my thread which hopefully will give you some insight into what happens.

What Spring said. You can change solicitors, you know; it's not unethical. It seems a bit pointless having a mediation specialist when mediation isn't really an option. What you want is an accredited Rottweiler!

I like the idea of a rottweiler! Thanks both and I will be following your thread Spring!
I have changed solicitors now - or rather haven't yet appointed a new one. I did find someone online who charges around £100 an hour, instead of the usual £250+ but I'm not sure... I'd prefer someone local. I have a free consult with a local solicitor who said I can do a lot of it myself. I filled in a Form E a year ago so I can certainly do that by myself. And because I'm told a lot of it initially is exchanging papers and info I don't need a solicitor just yet.
And the Court will MAKE him supply copies of his pension statements etc, which takes the onus of me and solicitor's letters...

Twunt has agreed to exchange with a week to go before First Appointment so you should be getting pretty up to date news TwitterQueen. I feel sick at the thought of reading his lies, but keep telling myself that its why I have a good solicitor - to see through them for me. Still feel sick though

Good news re your solicitors, with your local one sounding good with the free initial consult.

Good luck. My STBX is a also a master of lies too - and self deception. The experts have seen it all before though, and I suspect they're pretty good at sussing out the liars and cheats.

Hope you are ok Twitterqueen.

I wanted to report back to you that I've now been to the First appointment. It couldnt have gone better. My solicitor was brilliant, the judge was very nice and it all went our way. He has to answer all the questions we have asked etc etc. I managed not to look at nearly Ex at all. Its going be be much later on in the year for the 2nd and hopefully final one.

I feel much more confident now that I am not going to be cheated out of anything. If you want to know anything that might help you let me know.

Hi Spring
Thx so much for keeping me up to date.

Have been on holiday for a few weeks and then got back to discover my mum had died, so have had funeral to contend with last week too..

Anway I filed and now have the dates laid out. I've received a letter from his solicitor saying they were going to apply for the original consent order to be enforced. But since neither of us ever signed it, and it was only agreed by me under the most extreme duress (3 DDs and all belongings in removal van on drive and nowhere to go...), so I'm not particularly bothered about that.

Also, since that consent order meant he had to pay me part of his pension, which of course he hasn't, I'm assuming I can only benefit from this process.

I have applied for spousal maintenance and the hearing for that is very soon - 12 Sept. I don't particulary want it, but because I'm a contractor there may be times when I'm not earning and I may need to apply for additional relief at some point. (I'll move hell and high water not to, but I want to pressure him).

I'm not planning to get a solicitor for that date, but will see what happens in the meantime. I suspect his solicitor will put pressure on him to settle, as he left me to pay 2 mortgages and all child care etc for 7 months, and I only got child support when the CSA intervened. So it won't look good for him. He's also sent malicious emails to my family and another to friends. He's got a police caution for harrassment, and has also tried to exhort funds by threat from a local company, so he won't want all that surfacing..

Good luck with your case and keep me posted!