He irritates me

[Nostromo]

I don't know what to do about my other half, or our marriage.

To put it simply, he irritates me! His attitude changes when we're out collecting the kids. He turns into this big kid and prats about and thinks that everyone loves to see him and yet they all ask me how i cope being married to him?
He tells me I'm beautiful and that he loves me practically every day, yet I can hardly bare him to touch me. He wants sex all the time, yet I don't.
He's possessive and jealous and terrified of his parents and lets his parents boss us and our kids around (they're rich and powerful, I'm from a working class background)
His breath isn't the freshest, he's got this big belly and though I used to love him, I'm not sure if I do now, or if I'm just with him because I'm scared to do it on my own (or what his family might try. he always told me they'd get the kids off me somehow)
He's a hypochondriac, I hear all the details about every bowel movement, how he feels from moment to moment. He doesn't work and he's lazy.
Am I being a bitch? Am I being unreasonable? We've got a family holiday coming up and he's talking of starting up a business for us, whereas I need to know what I feel before I can think of this. I've tried telling him, but he bursts into tears and begs for another chance. 15 years of marriage down the drain? Dont know what to do.

How can you contemplate staying with a man you hold in such contempt, let alone going on holiday with him and enduring more cringemaking public moments in his company?

As for his dps getting your dc 'off you', that's utter twaddle and should not be entertained as cause for you to stay with him.

The fact that you despise their df will not have gone unnoticed by your dc and I would suggest you think long and hard about the effect this is having on them.

Your in-laws will never get custody of your children. That's a threat (really unpleasant one)which you don't need to take into consideration when making your decisions. I'd say to set up a business together at a point in time when you've got grave doubts about your future relationship would be a mistake. Possessive, jealous, doesn't work and hypochondriac are all red flags for me and I wonder if while he is saying he loves you every day, perhaps his actions and behaviour is less than loving. He sounds needy, irritating and a complete drag to me and perhaps rather time-consuming and 'entitled' too....
I've had one of those and I'm well shot. You need to make up your own mind though if you can stand to continue with this man or if you want to make a break.

Thanks for being honest. I dont know how to tell him. we've had this conversation so many times where i tell him im unhappy and he always talks me round into giving him another chance.
I cant imagine him leaving the house. I just think he'd refuse to go. And what about the kids? The oldest is 13, the youngest 9. He's so full of this business idea and likes to be in charge and important. I'm not sure how I'd cope seeing him crumble if I was brutally honest with him. But I'm not sure I can cope with his constant groping and the way he waggles his tongue at me (thinking hes being sexy) and that he can tempt me.

I had one of these too. Hypochondriac, irritating, wanting sex all the time etc. I too couldn't imagine how to get rid of him as I'd been telling him how unhappy etc I was for years and he wasn't getting the message. We went to Relate supposedly to mend our marriage but really I wanted to go to help him get the message that I had had enough and he needed to go.

He just wasn't hearing it until our counsellor told him repeatedly on my behalf.

Gone now and life is better

Your kids are the same ages as mine, more or less. Mine are 14 and 10. If I'd realised how well they would cope, I would have made the break much sooner. Hopefully you'll find the same.

Try to stop talking through all your thoughts with him and giving him the chance to talk you round. Get your own mind straight (possibly with help from close friend if appropriate). He's full of the business idea but doesn't sound like you are up for it so don't do it. Do you work? Are you supporting him financially atm?

It's unlikely that he won't survive without you - his parents can take care of him. Are you willing to continue to sacrifice your own happiness in life in order to not upset his dreams of being important and in charge? How long do you want to stick this out for?