Got date for decree nisi

[Dizzykizzy]

I got my date today for my decree nisi and I've agreed arrangements for children and finances with my XH this evening.

All in his favour really but it gives me the bare minimum of what I needed for me and DCs. But most of all it gives me freedom and the chance to start again.

Having a drink to celebrate! There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Hurrah for you

The end of the tunnel is in sight and you'll soon be walking in, if not on, sunshine again.

I think that calls for another don't you?

Bloody fantastic!

here's to freedom!

Thanks

Hang on, why are you settling for such a crap financial deal?

Because then he won't fight me for custody. Because it means I won't have to go to court. Because its easier. Because it means I can move on. I have always provided and I will still. But now I will no longer have to provide for him.

Dizzy are you sure this is the right thing to do re the finances? I am no expert but from what I have read on here over time once the financial arrangements are signed and sealed it is almost impossible to got back and change things but arrangements re children can be changed. Have you checked this out with a solicitor?

I agree with spring. You are entitled to at least 60% of the marital assets. That's what I got, plus the kids.

Please check with your solicitor that you are getting a fair deal - I got the house, a car, an endowment policy and a pension. He got to keep his money in his business and a small endowment.

I am really worried, too, that you are making the wrong decision.

Please speak to a solicitor. He's not going to get anywhere if he fights you for custody, not if you've been a good mum. He doesn't even sound as though he wants it anyway, if he's only fighting for it if you ask for more money.

I know it seems mad not to go to court but having an end to this with enough in it for me to be able to give the DCs some stability for a year is far more important than anything else. Both DCs are old enough to have a very good say on where they want to live and when XH gets his own place DS may want to spend more time there. I have to accept that. Even if I got 100% of the assets, I would have to work. So avoiding court, giving him what he wants so that he can find somewhere to live and keeping my sanity are the benefits.

I will get the solicitor to draft the agreement and I fully expect her to flame me advise me differently but I don't think I'll change my mind.

It's very hard afterwards though when they have so much more money than you and can afford holidays and nice clothes and a new car etc not to wish you'd taken your solicitor's advice, though. Take it from someone who's been there!