Firstly I'm on my phone so apologies for any strange spelling etc!
Basically I can't stand MIL and don't want her near me. She's very nearly pushed me over the edge into PND and my marriage has become shaky because of her. DH knows that she is a problem but won't, or can't, really do anything. My DD is 8 weeks old, our first child.
She is extremely overbearing and controlling. For example at 6 months pg with SPD I was made to go to her house and with DH cook lunch for FIL birthday. My dogs had to go to even though one of them had terrible car sickness, she'd vomit at least 3 times on a 15 min journey. I really didn't want to as I felt rotten but was made to go by DH who'd been guilt tripped by his mum. I was told that I'd have to tell my late fiancee's mother that I was pg. I thought it was none of MIL business and she should keep her nose out. Nearly MIL has contact with MIL as she sees her at gym.
Before DD was born I was informed that MIL would be first in the room to see me, straight away, then DH was handed a list of times it was ok to phone to tell her I'd given birth. DH stood up to her a little bit and said that she could only come once me and baby were ok. But she told him that was rubbish.
Maybe I should say that DH is not close to his family, prefers them to keep out of his business etc. Up until recently they seemed to respect this.
MIL tells people who come into her workplace who know DH and me personal details about our lives. I think that this is inappropriate, I don't like it as if I wanted them to know I'd tell them myself. It's like she has to have ownership of my life.
When they came to visit at the hospital she came charging at me whilst I was feeding DD, luckily I'd grabbed a muslin, and tried to snatch het off me!
She phoned our house 6 times a day when we were home even though DH had said that we wanted some quiet and we'd be in touch. Then phonecalls demanding taking our dog out started! Bearing in mind she'd seen DD lots. It was then said that I'd never let her see DD once DH went back to work. Several other nasty comments were made about me. She has a GS born a week before DD.who lives hundreds of miles away and she doesn't pull this shit on them.
Whenever she sees DD she pokes her to get her to open her eyes for a photo. She pulled up a chair and sat leaning over DD shouting and poking at her for her photo! She gave DD and me tonsillitus. This has resulted in DD being taken to emergency docs 3 times as she was struggling to breathe, she's had oral thrush for the past 4/5 weeks due to me having to have antib's. It damned near finished me off having to bf when I was so physically weak I couldn't pick her up. She refused to leave our house unless she got to hold DD. They were here for over a hour even though I kept saying how tired I was. Out of earshot of DH she made bitchy comments to me that I was too shocked by to reply. Such as "well maybe I'll recognise her next time I get to see her". It had been two days! She'd seen her on Mon and this was said on weds.
She's been trying to drive a wedge inbetween DH and myself. Making out that I'm evil and irrational. Convinced DH that he should make me take DD to a late evening concert when she's poorly. I told him to fuck off and no way was she being taken out in the wet to be in a cold church with loud music. I also told him to go back and live with his bloody mother as he obviously values her over me and DD.
There's lots more but she's ruined my first month of motherhood. Phonecalls at 11 at night demanding to come around the next day!
DH is so overpowered by her that he can't see that anything's wrong. In all honesty they don't have much to offer my DD, all they do is sit and watch tv. That's not what I want for my child.
I was told last night that I have to see her. I don't want to.
How do I cope? How do I get DH to put us first?