Feel pretty low this evening

[HowamIgoingtogetoutofthis]

I sorted out a couple of cupboards in preparation for our stealth departure. Wedding presents, leaving behind stuff. I can just imagine H looking in the cupboards and seeing abandoned Tommee Tippee cups, baby photos, not knowing if he will ever see his children again. It's breaking my heart. Even though I know he is not a nice person, I feel so awful at how much pain I am about to inflict on another human being. Not long to go, just a couple of weeks, so much to do, still don't know where we'll live exactly. Feel scared and shitty. If anyone has anything comforting to say-I'd so love to hear it. I feel like such a fuck up.

I don't know your back story but you I am sure you are doing this for your dc as much as yourself.

If he is not a nice person he is probably ruining your dc lives all be it slowly and under the surface.

Be brave.

I felt that way too. Ex DH took it bad. Very bad. But everything will have memories attached to it, and you can't take it all, so go easy on yourself.

Are you sure his pain will be that great?

That's how YOU'd feel, not necessarily him.

Regardless, you have been considering his feelings for too long.

Threats of abduction and DV for those who haven't see the past two loooong threads. How bad Olympia 2012? Do you ever stop looking over your shoulder? I have no idea what to expect :(

sounds like he has ruined it for himself, nothing to do with you!

i agree with Lueji, he might not give a toss inwardly.

he may be cross that you have defied him, or that he is 'losing'.

if he is REALLY bothered he can change, and do whatever it takes to gain access / credibility, though i wouldnt hold my breath.

I assume womens aid will help you relocate etc?

Why do you think he will be hurt? Angry because he no longer has power and you as possessions but not hurt I don't think.

I've read one of your other threads and I think you have to keep in mind that you are saving yourself and your children - and they have to come first.

You are doing the right thing, keep your head down, stay strong, get out.

I haven't read previous threads. My ex tried to kill himself. He was sectioned and in a bad way for a while. I was in a refuge, with 4 dc. Took aged for the fear to go and to not feel I was walking on eggshells.

He took me to court for access, but he got zero due to his spiralling behaviour.

8 years on and we are 'friends'. We speak on the phone as I now have given him phone access. I never though that we would be amicable again. But we are.

I also think that it will be more about him being angry at losing control! That he will see it as a battle he has lost.

Please dont think of him. He has no concern for you otherwise you would not have to plan your escape in this way.

Stay strong.

I followed both your previous threads and you are doing amazingly well. When the feelings of guilt even try to creep in, think about your 2 boys immediately and that will get rid of the unwanted, intrusive thoughts that do not help you in any way. The feelings of guilt will drain you emotionlly and you need every ounce of strength for the next two weeks whilst you get your plans in order.

You are inspirational. Keep working through your plans.

Stay strong and stay safe.