Today I asked my DP to leave, I feel awful.

[MarigoldsInTheWindow]

Last night my dp grabbed and scratched my son.
Today I told him he must leave, he dousnt even seem to know why I am upset.
I feel sick, i told him this am. I told his mother and mine.

I dont know if its over forever, but he must seek some help for his anger issues. I will not be the mother that dousnt protect her children.
God I dont know how to feel, awful, sad sick, my hearts in pieces.
I hadnt cried til now.
And now after this i miss him (how stupid is that) and all along the build up has ben getting worse and worse, and now after all this i start to feel something for him.

please help me.

well done getting some space between him and your kids. It's a wonderful thing to do, protecting them like that.

Of course you miss him. You've been together through a lot, if you've got kids together.

Who's around in RL who can help you? Do you get on with your Mum? Is she nearby? Or a friend?

Well done on having the strength to ask him to leave. It's bound to be hard for a while and i second that you should get as much rl support as possible. You've got plenty of time to figure out what happens in the future!

I just want to say that I respect you for it.

I sacked an employee, who I trusted, for grabbing DS and leaving a horrid red mark on his neck. I refused to let her come back into the house. That was hard. Dealing with your DP must be horrendous (I'm guessing DP is not DS's father?)

Well done for telling your respective parents. That makes it real and stops you from brushing it under the carpet.

How old is your son? Do you need to talk to him about it?

my mum has taken them to hers for dinner, my dad will bring them back.

my dp is due to come round while they are gone for a chat. I have some clear guidelines for what i expect to happen.

He only gets this wound up at bedtime, we need to ensure he can cope. part of this is that he MUST attend anger management/parenting classes.
we will need to discuss if he can cope with me working in the eves from home, but me must accpet if i give it up there will be less money.

im not just protecting them, im protecting him from doing something he will never forgive himself for.

He can stay at his mums while he does anger management.
i feel so ashamed it has come to this.

thank you for replying- i mean that. i feel like my heart is being ripped apart.

Bloody well done, you are a star and a great mum x

yes he is their father. my son is 6.
sorry i didnt see other replies til after i posted.

I spoke to my son, my dp came round from work to apologise (worst apology ever). I told my son daddy was going to stay at his nannies for a while.

I dont know what else to say to him, i really dont.

"we will need to discuss if he can cope with me working in the eves from home, but me must accpet if i give it up there will be less money."

Whatever happens, keep your job. Giving things up just because he has an evil temper will send the wrong message ie. that you're prepared to adapt and change to accommodate him. It has to be the other way around. Good luck and I think you're doing the right things.

Yes, do keep your job. Things will be a lot harder for you if he can't get it together and you end up separating (even for a while) if you don't have a job.

I think you've done really well sending him a clear message about what he needs to do - and how things need to improve.