never thought i could ever ever EVER do this...

[whymewhy]

but it looks like i was completely wrong.

recently started a thread about how ive developed feelings for a dad at my ds's school. my relationship is poo at the moment, and the dad is going through a rough time too.

we've been meeting up occasionally as friends as we get on so so well and have lots in common. I realise we probably only see in eachother something that we are each lacking in our own relationships, but ive always told him it can never go anywhere as i love my bf despite our problems.

well today it did go further and we kissed.

i feel like complete shit and such incredible guilt. the worst thing is i really enjoyed it and want more. i told him it can't happen again as i can't do this to bf but i feel like im kidding myself if i think that it wont happen again the next time we're together.

I know im an absolutely awful person - i don't need reminding of that, but im so confused i don't know what to do. my mind is so messed up its all over the place. i just feel sick

i don't know what went wrong or how ive managed to cross the line from friendship to this

". i told him it can't happen again as i can't do this to bf but i feel like im kidding myself if i think that it wont happen again the next time we're together"

No, you aren't kidding yourself unless you have the backbone of a slug. Just don't do it again, best of all don't let yourself get into that position again. What reason do you have for being alone with him anyway?

Put some of this angst and passion into your own relationship first. Or end it properly.

I speak as one who had been in your husband's position and unless you really really hate him you wouldn't want him to feel like I do right now.

No judgement from me, I don't think you're an awful person. I think these things happen and that people are human and flawed and make misguided grabs for happiness where they can.

I do think you're possibly heading for disaster if you continue though. The fall-out for you could be absolutely dire, and like other people have said, your son could suffer as a result. People can be judgemental, sexist, and harsh. People gossip.

The right thing to do, both for yourself and for everyone else concerned, is to cut contact with this other man. You can help yourself. You're in control of the choices you make. If you don't meet up with him and make sure you are never alone with him, then nothing further can happen.

You need to dig deep op and look at the bigger picture.

Hear Hear Orm