what would you do?

[gracehedley]

Hi all, I have mentioned my troublesome ex before (got decree nisi, arguing over settlement, he will not move out of house until it is sorted and got decree absolute). Anyway, what would you do about this - he is somehow getting copies of all my texts and probably emails, all activity on my phone. Must have some spy type programme somewhere - god knows how it works but he is a computer expert and will have researched it. Will also have his tracks well covered and be able to deny it. Is this illegal? Massive infringement of my privacy, very horrible to live with, not yet mentioned to solicitor as all we are arguing over is the financial details, not behaviour. What would you do?

Have you checked your online account for your mobile? Could he be accessing it?

How do you know he has all this?

get another phone that he doesn't know about and as you know he is looking at the current one, keep it and use tht to your advantage

First of all I would be getting a new phone. Secondly start virus checking your computer and get a computer expert to go over it, or reboot it. Change all passwords of all accounts, but change them on a different computer. Do you have any evidence he is doing this, as I think you could have it constituted as harassment. But stop using all the technology he has tracking you for the time being, and potentially set up a new email address. He may have his tracks covered, but if the programme is on your computer, there will be evidence of it, and I think the same on your phone.

Yes, checked online account and everything in order there. He has something installed that works in the house via his server/network/what ever. He has TOLD me he is reading all my stuff! And even sends texts to friends responding to things they have told me. Has also said even if I use a different phone he will still be able to, but could be bluffing here. Is it actually illegal or just a bloody big nuisance?

Wonder if I should post this in the geeky stuff section to see if anyone knows about stuff like this?

Idiot. Okay ask your friends to keep those messages for future assistance. I very much doubt a PAYG sim would be trackable, as long as you couldn't access the internet on the phone through your home network , I think he is just trying to scare you here- though admittedly I could be wrong . It must be illegal surely. I would be concerned though not being a brilliant computer person that he is hacking through your online network , so I would be being very careful with this thread. Could you perhaps use BT Fon temporally as this would make it tricker for him.Just a quick look online , it would count as unauthorised access but it is tricky to prove so maybe see if you can record a phone call where he says this . Its probably not going to do much but keep clearing your history.

Do you have any friends you can ring who may have a very clever computer husband???? This sounds like something you need to sort out immediately and I would be worried about him tracking all your online information.

Hmmm, none so knowledgeable as him unfortunately. He is v obsessive about things. Yes he prob is reading all my online stuff - emails and all - he has done it all before. What I really want to know is, is this illegal in some way?

Do you connect through his network/server etc for internet access etc? If so then I would imagine it is the same as at work and can be made to save/record everything.

If you don't then I would start with a visit to the police to see if him doing this is legal and then your solicitor.

What a creepy git.

Apparently it is , but as you pointed out it is difficult to prove, which is why having evidence of him admitting it or friends evidence could help. I can imagine the programme does exist, so therefore if someone could find this out and prove this you would have something to go on, especially as he is a computer expert and if you have evidence of unreasonable behaviour and stalking in the past. So I would do some things rather quickly, such as use internet cafes , friends computers etc but avoid using your home one until you can get someone to sort it out. It could also be an issue in the future as identity theft, so it really needs to be sorted.
Ahh just found this : www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/advice/9203183/How-do-I-stop-wireless-hackers.html
Apparently it is illegal , have a read and see what this says . But I would be getting the police involved , and state to them you are potentially concerned for your safety in the future as the stalking is this obsessive.

yes will read when I have a moment, thanks keepcalm ... I have my own broadband network in the house, have had to have this because of his previous behaviour, but thik he is tracking my phone through his own network -aaarrgghhh, it's horrible!!

I'm not clear - are you still living in the same house? I would definitely involve the police; as much as anything it's a direct contravention of your human rights!

Article 12.
No one shall be subjected to arbitrary interference with his privacy, family, home or correspondence, nor to attacks upon his honour and reputation. Everyone has the right to the protection of the law against such interference or attacks.

Of course it's bloody illegal! Nobody has the right to read your email or listen to/read your phone messages without your express permission. News Of The World phone hacking scandal, anyone??

Now stepping down off my high horse, please do involve the police, especially if he has form for this. It's stalking, plain and simple, and the police have to take it seriously. x

kernowgal is right : this is really serious. And I wouldn't put it past him he's hijacked your Broadband as well. It must be extremely horrible, which is why you must act quickly before he cottons on to this thread. You have not got an IPhone / smart phone have you? Because he could also be tracking your movements, where you go etc....another reason to give them a ring.

yes we are in the same house. And yes he has said he is tracking me and other friends of mine using Latitude. Which apparent;ly is the easiest thing to hack in to. I have a Smartphone. It's really horrible.

Good point re the iPhone.

Is he living in the same house as you?

You should tell the police - it's stalking and it's illegal. It's the only way to stop him thinking he's so clever. Apart from that you should:

Change the password on your wireless network, in case he's getting in that way.

Take your laptop to a computer technician and ask him/her to look at whether there's spyware installed.

Buy a new phone with a new contract - explain to the supplier what's happened.

The first thing I'd do is turn off any apps that show your location - even the google search page asks me for my location on my smartphone but I've turned this off, ditto google maps or latitude or anything like that. I don't know how to hack phones but is it done via your phone's IMEI code I wonder? Or perhaps via a static IP? If you can, you could change your settings so it assigns a dynamic IP? I am no expert by the way so I second the suggestion of going to see an IT person (do you have any friendly geeks at work?) and impressing on them the gravity of the situation.

Do you have broadband through a known supplier eg BT/Plusnet/TalkTalk or whoever? If yes I'd be straight on to them to find out what course of action to take as they'll have experience of this happening before.

Has he said which friends he's tracking? If he has, I would be telling them pretty blooming sharpish. Personally I'd be pretty upset if a friend's ex-partner was keeping an eye on my whereabouts. In fact I'd be going to the police myself.

Really unpleasant for you OP :(