Didn't want to post this in AIBU, but it is one really.
As always, there is a long story. But to cut it short, I am divorced, have two DCs (6 and 3), and a shared residence agreement with their father. I own my own home, work part-time and support myself and the children, with a small amount of maintenance from their father.
My partner is a fair bit older than me, separated, has adult children. He hasn't divorced (another long story). The financial settlement he has agreed with his wife means that when they sold the marital home, she got all the equity and bought a house with it, so she is mortgage free. He took all the marital debt (a MASSIVE amount) and he pays her spousal maintenance. She works but earns substantially less than him.
So - he has no house and a massive amount of debt, which he is trying to pay off as quickly as he can. He officially lives with his parents, but spends no time there really. He rents a house through work - which work pays for, as his job means he has to travel.
He stays with me 4 - 6 nights a week. He wants to move in (another story). But he can't really afford to give me any money towards the bills because all of his incomings go on the debt and maintenance to his wife. He has offered to pay me £200 a month, but I know that if he gives me that, it just prolongs the debt situation as it is £200 a month he is not paying off his debt. And anyway given my mortgage is 4 times that before even any bills / food, I feel it's a bit of an insult really. But I think that is because I am resentful - and possibly unreasonable?
I don't feel it's my place to comment on the settlement he has agreed, which has left him penniless. But I do feel resentful that he wants to come and live with me and my kids and yet can't contribute.
This is having a negative impact on the way I feel about our relationship. But it's not something I know how to fix. I have to accept this situation for the way it is, right? Because there isn't anything I can do about it, is there?