Bedroom help

[GuessWho04]

Hello

First I don't know where to post this...but thought I would try this board as it seems most relevant. Please note, sorry for the TMI.

Me & the OH are having problems in the bedroom dept. I seem to be unable to allow him to enter me fully . I have had this problem since we got married and had a baby recently, so thought that would help, but no such luck. I brought a vibrator too yesterday, and we tried it, and I was able to use that fine. but when OH came 'along' it just seems as though he can't get further than a certain point. Its not that I am not willing, I am trying my hardest, but when he enters me it is just too painful. Could it be the condom we are using, have tried two different one (durex & mates)? We use plenty of lube, I mean lots.

Any advice would really help as we would really both like to sort this BIG problem out...

Thanks ladies in advance and again sorry for the TMI

Hi op

I have an allergy to latex, and used to cause me all sorts of pain and burning, the spermicide either on the condom or from a tube used to send me orbital.

i wonder if the condoms are causing you a reaction, and you are swelling up or tightening up internally, because being in pain causes you to clench up as well.

Did you use condoms before you conceived? if so did you have the same problem?

Yep i was going to mention the latex thing too. That would seem the most likely reason, if you ok with a vibrator.

It could be either a physical or a psychological issue. It seems wise to look at the physical first. Allergies to latex or to spermicide may be causing it or perhaps if you tore during delivery and were stitched?

Do you have any feelings about when it started and what might be causing it? Do you have a past history of sexual problems or abuse?

Thanks for the replies. I did have this problem before baby too and used condoms until we decided the try for baby. When oh enters I do feels like i'm tightening, even though he goes slow when I ask and could not go any slower. Now you mention the burning, I do also get that too....at the risk of looking stupid spermicide is just sperm right?? had an episotimy when baby being born, and when OH enters it sorta stings...can't be the lube cos I was fine with that when being used with the vibrator. Again sorry for the TMI

Spermicide is stuff that kills sperm that they put in lubricant on condoms and sometimes in lube. Were you better without condoms?

think so, from what I can remember...what can I use instead of lube??

Check to see if the lube has spermicide. If you have used it without probs it should be fine and have a look for condoms without latex to try (they are fairly easy to get in ordinary supermarkets) if that doesn't work try excluding ones with spermicide. It wouldn't be uncommon for you to have gotten a fear which may complicate things further so try to relax as much as possible when trying things out.

thanks for your advice, i'm on a mission

There's lots of choice in the mates range re the latex and spermicide things. If the lube is also causing a problem there are a range of different lubes on the market, maybe do some digging on the Internet ad try changing things. If it stings in your episiotomy scar it may well be an allergy since scar tissue is often more sensitive.

you can get none latex condoms, and for lube use ky jelly and not lubes as such
or maybe try another form of contraception if you are able.

KY jelly is water based and wont react with the rubber of a condom, as some do

I'd see your practice nurse. It could be a medical issue.

Have you tried different positions.
You standing up bent over and him from behind. You missionary pos but with your legs on his shoulders. You on top?

worth seeing a doctor - endometriosis can cause pain during sex, though they'd probably tell you post delivery if you had it (?)

have thought about it, and if I could use the vibrator and lube without any trouble then it must be the condom...may try the none latex stuff...if not then I guess docs it is..

It could be Vaginismus. Which is an involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles when attempting sex.

www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Vaginismus/Pages/Treatment.aspx

Hypnotherapy can be helpful in helping you to learn how to relax enough to overcome the problem.

this thread is months old

Ah Jesus, I was just coming on to say how "VAGI WAVE" had changed my LIFE and here's lovely Sallyp beaten me to it (again)...
Sally, THANK YOU for coming and advising all of us on VAGIWAVE!!

What the FUCK kinda name is VAGIWAVE anyway?!!

Sorry op.

Advertisement ?

Sally has been on six threads tonight (some six years old) to advertise her wares. Reported them all.

me too

Just reported too.

Thanks so much all

Back to the OP, sounds very much like a latex allergy, good luck!