Marriage Counselling

[twinkletoeslilyrose]

My husband and I have a 5 month old baby girl. We have been married for 2 years and our relationship is in a mess. I would like to try couples counselling but my experience of counselling (I went briefly at the beginning of our relationship as I left a relationship I was unhappy in to be with my DH and was trying to figure out what to do) was not really that positive as in I just talked but felt I was not helped or guided to find answers. Is this how therapy works? My question really is how can I tell if a therapist is good? What should I / we expect from a counselling session? it's not really as if I can ask around for reccommendations!! Any help would be greatly appreciated.

I found relate totally rubbish, we tried 3 times but didn't really see it through each time. But it was really rubbish, I could tell the therapists had learnt some formulas but they were totally swayed by my ex, and he led the whole sessions. They would ask him a focused question which he couldn't answer, he'd go off on a random tangent, and they would just listen to what he said, they never tried to tie him back to the original point.

But we tried Emotionally Focused Therapy which I'd totally recommend here's a link: www.psychotherapy.net/interview/sue-johnson-interview
You will probably have to google a bit to find those counsellors in your area, but I thought they were excellent. It's a really good approach.

I knew things were badly wrong with my ex, ie he's a nutter, so I didn't want to continue therapy to bring us back together. And the therapist asked us to read the book that accompanies the counselling technique, and it said not suitable for people in abusive relationships, and that was me, which is why we have now split up.

Our therapist was very good (not a counsellor and not through relate) she was recommended to me by someone in a similar profession.

The other suggestion I was given was to phone a few up and briefly tell them what you are looking for in therapy and go with your gut instinct.

Thanks so much for that. I'm sorry you were in a horrible relationship. Do you think the Emotionally Focused technique helped you to decide what you wanted to do?

RandomMess that sounds like good advice thanks