I feel so very lonely

[saddotcom]

It was my ds 4th Birthday today and unfortunately my uncle's ashes were buried today so i held the joint party myself with friend and all her family. My ex is on holiday with his new partner and i just feel so down and its been a year in April and i have (posted on here all ready) attempted a relationship with a loser already. I have many friends lovely family a good job a lovely home but i feel so lonely

There is no shame in that. It's quite natural. You may be making the mistake I did in thinking that gerting over something and feeling better is a straight line process where you feel a bit better every day. But in reality I think it is much more up and down and sometimes you just can't feel grateful and happy for what you have, even though you know you should.

So don't beat yourself up for feeling bad. Everyone feels lonely some of the time. Be nice to yourself, make sure you are eating and sleeping ok.

spero thankyou......i dont eat or sleep very well but always always on the go and you are spot on with the expecting great things all too soon. Its like when someone dies and all the well wishers get on with there life and your kind of left there thinking what about me? Nobody likes a moany person but i find looking after my kids so hard work as there dad a bit of a wonder man and when there with him and his new partner who has kids exact same age as ours they have a ball every time and they are entertained. When with me its kinda boring i guess and i try ma best but when there in bed i just feel so bloody lonely. thanks spero

One of the most destructive things I think you can ever do is fantasise about the lovely times you imagine everyone else is having and compare this to your own misery. You don't known what is really going on, I am prepared to net a large sum of money that your ex and his partner are not always having a ball with lots of small children in tow!

If you are not eating or sleeping well, thatis probably a big part of why you are feeling so crap, so try to deal with that first, as much as you can.

Yes i think i have spells of not sleeping and i am trying to lose weight and dont eat properly but your so right about fantasy. I was stood today at my sons birthday bash and all my pals family there i was alone. My family would have been there but the funeral. My Ex just has fun fun fun with them all the time and there is two of them go out for lunches and swimming and its all fun as they entertained and fun times. I cant drive and my kids know this holds me back. Its hard but your right i shouldnt think about things i dont know. I just feel very lonely and wonder is it normal

It's entirely normal.

And how do younknow it's fun, fun, fun with the ex!? Are you secretly filming? I bet there is loads of whinging and moaning from all parties! yes and probably some fun bits but nobody's life is perfect all of the time.

You have just had a really shitty day andyou are falling into the trap of comparing your own misery to other people's imagined happiness. Don't do it! It makes you feel so much worse, I do know and sympathise.

Tomorrow is another day. I hope it will be better, but you don't need to worry that you are anything other than entirely normal to react in the way you have.

I feel very lonely and isolated tonight. Odd day for emotions :(

Well least we have mn here eh? its a great thing to be able to just type how your feeling and some kind soul comes along and makes you feel better. Solesource whats been happening with you today? x

Sorry OP- pity party alert :(

Just realising a few things about me and my past. Therapy working and anger coming out. It is very gradual process, moods up and down like a rollercoaster. Fed up of it. Want to be normal like peole here, want another baby, want a life of contentment.

Learn to drive! Find a recommended local instructor and take regular lessons over a period of time or enrol on an intensive course.

Err I started driving in 1995 :) I am a Carer :( x

I think izzy is talking to the op re driving.

Agree, it can be a liberating skill but I know a car can be v expensive to run. But if that is beyond your reach for now there is still loads of things you can do with and for your children. I think a lot of the time children appreciate time and attention from their parents, not just being driven about to expensive activities.

Me too and I have been married 8 years but dh doesn't notice me and we have not had sex for 5 years.

Life can be hard but I believe that if you are good then things will pick up

Xx

Just getting from a to b is hard at the moment as my house is an age away from school etc but i am private renting. Getting a pint a milk is a struggle but today i realised i had no food in for a good dinner. We had plenty party food today but its a sat night our last day of the shittist summer hols so i encouraged a walk to the local chip shop and it brought tears and big melt downs till i mentioned ice cream. Kids scootered there and back and i got a bottle of wine out of Alid for couple of quid and all was well. Its the little things i find hard. Always looks like all is well with everyone else and i feel so much like a weirdo just stuck on my own but with lots of friends but everyone got to get back to there family and husbands and its taking me a wee while to get used to this after being married 12 years. I am taking lessons and going well but its just taking time.