I am glad my dead marriage is finally ended

[Nolongertrapped]

But it ended ultimately because I had an affair. I don't believe STBXH was faithful but I have no absolutely sure proof. If we see a solicitor about separation how much will my actions be held against me financially and will it be confidential?

I've no idea, sorry. Could you re-post in Legal?

It doesn't make any difference to divorce settlements, from what I understand.

Depends, my sil cheated and ruined their marriage but bil agreed to a divorce on better terms for the sake of their children.

Have you discussed it with him?

If you put in something like unreasonable behaviour or irreconcilable differences his lawyer might just advise him to accept your divorce petition for an easy life

Jesus.

Just that. He isn't. But Jesus.

Whoops, sorry, wrong thread.

Depends on the grounds for divorce you choose, and which of you is the petitioner/respondent. Solicitors have to maintain client confidentiality, and should you be divorced for adultery it will be in the court papers. Could you and ex can agree unreasonable behaviour perhaps? For me, it's the divorce itself that matters, not apportioning blame in a legal context.

Thanks, it's helpful to know there are options and it's not wholly clear cut re the grounds for divorce.